Work... I've made it to the point of no return. Rather- to the point of imminent decision, where a "return" is incredibly important. There are decisions which must be made. And the decision I made to keep saying NO to lighting design jobs must be met and held on to- every time a ladder falls on my head and the stress escalates to the point which I am hating being in the place I once loved, and rejecting the responsibility of artistic license, I know it's gone too far and a major life-changing turn is due... I've know also for a while that I'm plain sick of designing lights because it's just not worth the stress for me anymore. And stage management, I'm also over dealing with dramatic fools- and since they're in every aspect of life anyway, why get paid to take all their problems onto my shoulders? I don't want to - and I can continue to say yes and be forced to gripe and complain within, or I can continue on another path and just move on move on. I'd rather stick to something that is less overtly depressing and just play the field, not settle for things that I know I can do, but have no passion for. No more ladders on my neck and no more pride- time to move on, move on.
And if moving on entails starting from scratch on something completely new, then by all means, I'll embrace the change and excitement full on, with open arms and ecstatic eyes wide and looking out to the foggy hills of the city- SF here I come!!!!!
Sorry, wish it were New York, but not right now... gotta be able to get in- state tuition, especially when I risk losing $20,000 to the IRS, unless Grampa Allocca can make the crises all go away.
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