been a while

Hey blahg. I haven't written in quite some time, and intermittently I feel the urge to splurge on screen here and let loose the tongues of war, spilling all the juicy tidbits of life in La La Land... Truth is, nothing too interesting or inspiring has let my briain bring me back to the attitudes of yore, the splurgitude, the desire to tell all see all do all be all. So, instead, i live life day to day and have all but nearly forgotten that satisfaction I get sometimes from simply breaking it all down on paper. When was the last time I picked up a pen, or even logged on to write about it all?

So where to start? The most prominent thing on my mind lately has been the big one, the big L, the all encompassing life long desire, satisfying and emotionally wracking, the big heart thumping moon bumping leg humping love... as usual, it envelops me and smothers me with drenching cool tears of the only thing I don't know how to deal with, let alone describe what it does to me... being in this state is like keeping a secret, letting it take me in its hands and control my every move at its whim, the big L. I surprise myself with how incredible I let myself feel under its massive control, and the realize that I'm behind the wheel all the time, just driving on autopilot.

ASSHOLE computer, I just had a massive amount of typing down and text edit freakin QUIT on me, damn. Well, all that writing wasn't for nothing. The gist of it was- i'm still in love, evermore so, it's freaking wracking my mind with intensity and all i can do is writhe with it drowning me with awesomeness. And some other stuff, too. I'm not going to bother writing out everything I said earlier, I talked about my job and how it's getting better and it's raining and stuff.

Anyway, things are dreary and in the doldrums, only because I feel the need to breathe by myself for one night, it's a different thing getting used to going to work and being upbeat all the time, it's nice to chill in my room, on my softy bed, in the hot breeze of the heater blowing little hairs all over the place, to know that I have someone out there, thinking about me and knowing I'm thinking right back.

Sheeze!!