Weekends are not long enough.

So, Jason got back from his trip today, depressed from the rain and not eager to be at work again. His mood kind of dragged me on, made the day seem longer but we snuck to the cofee shop and bullshitted for a while, and it kept on raining...

At least I'll never have to buy another freakin' pad or tampon again! Having rubber up my cooch is awesome! How come I never heard of these things before now, if they've been around since the '30's? Freakin' disposable wasteful society, dammit!

I came across Aunt Berdie's old stereo camera this weekend while moving boxes upstairs, and sent Jan to get slide film today, at least he stopped in at the camera shoppe for me which was awesome, I should bring it in there and get some film, and start having some fun with it... I need to have Mama send or bring out the viewer and Berdie's old slides, to see if they were really slides or if I need to get some other things... And I also need to figure out if there's a way to digitize it and make it look 3d and cool on a computer screen... It's doubtful...

Anyways, I'm sore, lazy, hungry, and getting warmer... ;-) Cheeerioo!

scott's t shirt ideas

"Soccer mom, take me into your sequoia and suck me!"

"Show me a soccer mom and i'll show you a desparate housewife"

On another note, you know what drives me completely fucking batty? When I'm listening to music- iPod, car stereo, home stereo, computer speakers, you name it- and if my cell phone's in the vicinity, that beeb ebeeb boob bee bee beep doop bee dboop that happens DRIVES ME CRAZY. It makes me think there are frequencies and signals and freaky shit flying through the air and giving me brain cancer. Why does it happen? What's that all about? The other day it happend on the streetcar when the drvier made his next stop announcement. Am I the only one this bugs?



And, you know what else doesn't make sense to my non-computer-geeked out self, how the heck does wireless and wifi work? Why am I able to upload and send images and files and sounds and music and stuff over the air? It's not connected to anything! How do all those 1's and 0's get over the air in a comprehensible fashion, and stay organized from one place to another? It reminds me of Mike TV getting shrunk and sent through the tv airwaves and the millions of trillions of pieces all finding their places back together at the end. It confuses me and confounds me. Am I breathing the pictures I post on themaxx? Am I being bombarded in the hallway as I pass in front of the wireless router and between my computer? Ghad.

I made it ...

I survived another week... I never looked forward to a Friday so much as today... sigh... Things are good, I'm going to start packing up some boxes this weekend, do laundry, go through some clothes and maybe try to sell some at Crossroads... I hope I sleep better tonight, after waking up every hour it is draining me of energy, and those fish n' chips really did not sit well in my tummy, I feel pretty heavy and icky... After the happy hour tonight I'm ready to go to bed early... I'll prolly be passed out by 10!
It's too bad that I lost that auction for that lens... but had I gone any higher with my bid I would have ended up paying more than I'd like. I'll keep an eye out, though...
'nite.
current mood:

hell.

damn. today was freaking crazy. i am so so so so tired but strung up and don't understand why my feet hurt and my hands hurt and my head hurts and my wrist hurts and my heart hurts, because i am distraught and stressed. fucking hell. actually in all reality it wasn't that bad. all i know is that i need to only have one job, and pa'ing is not where i want to be. the photography is ok, but you know what, i need more training with that camera and i don't understand why i'm supposed to search thru hundreds of photos on the tiny screen because my card reader doesn't do justice on jason's slowest machine in the building. and why all the noise? i don't know that camera, i don't like that camera, and i sure as hell don't like being there all day long. god.
i miss the shit out of jeffey, i should have gone down with him, but i am really looking forward to the road trip next month, and i'm stoked to be moving in with him, too, i like the neighborhood ok, not any better or any worse than out here, though i do want to get a cooler place in the city somewhere with a yard for a dog, and a garage for all the other pets... anyway, i'm really not looking forward to tomorrow, although it will be busier, with 4 fucking shoots, i won't be pa'ing, which i really can't do when i need to do lighting. i have to tell lisset that i'm not down with pa'ing unless jason's around to take care of the rest. i mean, kenny's cool and all, but i was just a bit overwhelmed. and with 4 rather large shoots tomorrow, goddamn i'll look forward to friday for the simplicity... and to next week, when my hunny comes home to me...

Tku, Morpheus....

Very very strange dreams last night, I dreamed that Mary and I were drving along with a lot of stuff in the back of my truck, along some messed up post-construction highway and flipped over, then I had to climb a tree while she gathered stuff up off the ground. I got stuck up in the tree, full of fear, which is kinda strange because I usually am ok with climbing trees. This one freaked me out, though. I got reallly high up in it but couldn't find a good way down. I think I fell asleep up in the tree waiting for the rescuers, and there I dreamed about kissing J's chest, then when I woke up I had been sleeping next to the tree.
Then I dreamed about Tory, he was having a hard time finding means to make a living in a Mud-world, borrowing and mooching off of neighbors. Then he was making me green chile steak salad things for breakfast, I ate them messily over the sink, and he was the bus driver for my fourth grade field trips with Coach K. Even though Coach K was 7th grade, and brushing my teeth with Green chile probably isn't very smart. Steven said he gave me good tortillas and my mom was there, too.
Damn, my dreams are WEIRD.
Weird.

ho hum

I'm sweeeeepy...

Patty cake patty cake

Irish brew is good brew

... Who taught the blind guy to smoke? I was outside, smoking my own, and looking across the street at this blind guy talking to someone, waiting on the street for a ride. I saw him take out a Marlboro from his pocket, light it, smoke it... wondered, how did he get into it? Was he 10 years old, like me, smelled it, wondered what the hell that horrible stench was, someone had to have explained to him what it was. When I was 10 it sounded so foreign, why the hell would someone want to suck and breath burning plants, what's the point if it makes you sick and smell bad, teeth orange and cancer to die. So, did someone light one and put it in his mouth, to get him forever hooked on a habit that is probably next to heart disease the number one killer, the most unnattractive and perplexingly satisfying addiction? I hate it. On a day like today, when I started drinking at work because of a stupid holiday that makes me feel out of place, pinched and immature for not wearing green, bullshit, I want to indulge, and it makes me wonder. Too many people I know and care for are druggies for cigs. Fuckers. And I have no excuse. It just made me wonder, watching him delicately and systematically light his cig, wonder who first gave him that one, wonder if he blames them like I blame my friend in high school and my mom for making me flush hers down the toilet.

QUIT, you smoking bitches!! (yes and that means me, too...)

Oh what a day..

Dear Diary,

This is another snippet of the drama in the life of La... I spent an hour at the crApple store last night, got the memory swapped out of my iBook and now it feels considerably faster... While I was waiting for all the hardware tests to run, the Genius guy was a bit busy, with people coming in with laptop problems, but mostly iPod problems. There was a boy with a mini that didn't work anymore, and the mom wouldn't spend the 30 bucks for him to get it replaced... Lame. Then some jackass came in trying to get his week-old video replaced, because the screen was scratched up, which of course had to be a manufacturer's defect... asswipe. Anyway, I'm glad I don't work there... I almost was thinking about getting a job there when I moved up here last summer, and I am so glad I don't have to work in retail anymore, for now...

I took a helluva lot more photos today, on my feet all day running around all over the place. I seriously felt the exhaustion in my bones, lack of energy after a day long spent hectic and insane, I think I'll sleep like a rock tonight.

On the other most preoccupiying note, I just let the soon-to-be-ex-housemates know that I'm leaving them, and they took it sweetly well. I will miss this place, with its coldness and drafts, it's basement monster, it's moldy character, but it will be an incredible move, to enter this new realm of life... He's right, saying, why not jump on this opportunity now as it shows itself, no better time than the now, to start the rest of our lives, today... It's going to be hard, fun, wierd, great, terrible, and sticky, but most of all it'll be life, and I can really make a home, to call "ours". I think the timing will be just fine, after all.

Oh, and Dad had another kidney stone. Remind me to drink lots of water.

Phew...

sick of it

I gotta frickin stand up for myself. This shit is getting lame, I have no balls, and I have to learn how to make up for it. Damn. I got ripped off today at some electronic store downtown, because I didn't know what I wanted, just knew I wanted headphones. Fucker said these go for $99, so I'll give them to you for $45. I put them on, and turns out I have to turn the volume waay up for them to sound great, which they do, of course, awesome, actually... But then I come home to realize the asswipe ripped me off. What did I expect? A deal? Yeah fucking right. MSRP is $34.95 and they go elsewhere for $20. Dickface. So tomorrow I plan on marching in there, talk to a different salesman, and explain that I don't want to go deaf to have it sound good, that I didn't realize I don't need these DJ headphones to listen to my normal music. I do, of course, but not for pride. Truth is, I like the badass shure ones I own, but I really miss those old Sony's that broke. They sounded better, and the ear things are making my inner canals itch and hurt, they're getting more sensitive from the consistent earplugs... I should have gotten the ones I knew I wanted in the first place, so I'll let them exchange them for me, on one condition. "Do you have internet here? Yeah? Can I show you something?" Then I'll pull up Froogle, and show the assholes how they ripped a harmless innocent dumb ass like me off, after he's given me my money back, of course. Meh. If it doesn't work, fuckit. I'll sell them on ebay or something. What a mood to go to sleep, with. EGAD I HATE THIS FUCKING COUNTRY, with love.

Current mood: pissed, obviously, hard to fall asleep.

been a while

Hey blahg. I haven't written in quite some time, and intermittently I feel the urge to splurge on screen here and let loose the tongues of war, spilling all the juicy tidbits of life in La La Land... Truth is, nothing too interesting or inspiring has let my briain bring me back to the attitudes of yore, the splurgitude, the desire to tell all see all do all be all. So, instead, i live life day to day and have all but nearly forgotten that satisfaction I get sometimes from simply breaking it all down on paper. When was the last time I picked up a pen, or even logged on to write about it all?

So where to start? The most prominent thing on my mind lately has been the big one, the big L, the all encompassing life long desire, satisfying and emotionally wracking, the big heart thumping moon bumping leg humping love... as usual, it envelops me and smothers me with drenching cool tears of the only thing I don't know how to deal with, let alone describe what it does to me... being in this state is like keeping a secret, letting it take me in its hands and control my every move at its whim, the big L. I surprise myself with how incredible I let myself feel under its massive control, and the realize that I'm behind the wheel all the time, just driving on autopilot.

ASSHOLE computer, I just had a massive amount of typing down and text edit freakin QUIT on me, damn. Well, all that writing wasn't for nothing. The gist of it was- i'm still in love, evermore so, it's freaking wracking my mind with intensity and all i can do is writhe with it drowning me with awesomeness. And some other stuff, too. I'm not going to bother writing out everything I said earlier, I talked about my job and how it's getting better and it's raining and stuff.

Anyway, things are dreary and in the doldrums, only because I feel the need to breathe by myself for one night, it's a different thing getting used to going to work and being upbeat all the time, it's nice to chill in my room, on my softy bed, in the hot breeze of the heater blowing little hairs all over the place, to know that I have someone out there, thinking about me and knowing I'm thinking right back.

Sheeze!!