Last night was fun, never had that many people in my house before!
Good times...
25 December 2005
23 December 2005
22 December 2005
21 December 2005
19 December 2005
holiday hell
Phew. Got most of the holiday hellishness done today, but tonight will be filled with printing up greeting cards, addressing envelopes, printing out photographs and figuring out shit gifts for people, who's priority and who's not. I HATE this gift-giving responsibility CRAP. At least it's not such a big deal with my family, and the pressure is mostly from my brother because he likes the conventional shite, and found some knicknacks for the roomies' stockings. That's all that matters, spending time with the loved ones on the days that we, because it says so on the calendar, ought to be together. Whatever. Fucking headache, again, damn barometric pressure. Even if I do take shit before I go to bed, I still have a headache. I took 4 fucking Aleves today, and I STILL FEEL IT. God. All I want is for this SHIT to STOP. Gee, I'm not pissed! Fucking doctors. Evil bitches won't know what's wrong with me anyway. Fuckkit.
Anyway, besides the bad mood, I do hope this weather clears up sometime this week so that I can go ice skating with Jefe and his dad, if they're into it. That'd be a cool thing to do with him.
Sigh.
Anyway, besides the bad mood, I do hope this weather clears up sometime this week so that I can go ice skating with Jefe and his dad, if they're into it. That'd be a cool thing to do with him.
Sigh.
14 December 2005
neo yuppie scumbags
hahaahahaaaa
It just got me thinking about the whole Christmas thing, how I've had it almost all of my life, or the holiday itself is impossible to not be around in some way shape or form, even if I wanted to just embrace my bad-jew self and solely celebrate eight days of lights instead of one day of lights and trees and pesticides and cookies and presents and fat guys in hideous red outfits and chicks with tits. Nothing wrong with any of that, it just always posed a problem when I was young, half the kids in school handing out only Christmas elephant presents to each other, maybe if I had a cool teacher she'd mention something about Channukah, but still... I almost had to pretend that part of my life didn't matter in any other circle of life, just my own little secret. Ha, you only get one day and I get eight, I used to think... Now, I come to terms with both days. Christmas eve would be so boring had we not always walked the old neighborhood and sung religiously tainted songs around the luminarias, helped old Ray lay out the faralitos downtown. I love it. I have to do it for our house this year. All in all, it's a time of year that means a lot, and this year it'll be even better than others, or unique in its own, I'm ecstatic that I got to change my flight to spend it with J, I was going to cry the whole time walking around downtown wishing he were there to see it all with me, hold my frozen hand- but now I can have eight days of lights with the family in CO instead, and actually get to have the best of both worlds...
Yes!
It just got me thinking about the whole Christmas thing, how I've had it almost all of my life, or the holiday itself is impossible to not be around in some way shape or form, even if I wanted to just embrace my bad-jew self and solely celebrate eight days of lights instead of one day of lights and trees and pesticides and cookies and presents and fat guys in hideous red outfits and chicks with tits. Nothing wrong with any of that, it just always posed a problem when I was young, half the kids in school handing out only Christmas elephant presents to each other, maybe if I had a cool teacher she'd mention something about Channukah, but still... I almost had to pretend that part of my life didn't matter in any other circle of life, just my own little secret. Ha, you only get one day and I get eight, I used to think... Now, I come to terms with both days. Christmas eve would be so boring had we not always walked the old neighborhood and sung religiously tainted songs around the luminarias, helped old Ray lay out the faralitos downtown. I love it. I have to do it for our house this year. All in all, it's a time of year that means a lot, and this year it'll be even better than others, or unique in its own, I'm ecstatic that I got to change my flight to spend it with J, I was going to cry the whole time walking around downtown wishing he were there to see it all with me, hold my frozen hand- but now I can have eight days of lights with the family in CO instead, and actually get to have the best of both worlds...
Yes!
13 December 2005
halfway there
I took my Psych final today, finished my English paper, and just have to write up some extra credit and take my Astro final on Friday. Then, I'm free! Feels good. It's cold. (rather, I'm cold...)
Head hurts, as usual.
This is cool though. I keep getting badded on tmbo.org. Oh well.
And, I'm for sure not going to follow through on Folawole's shite. Not my business. Not my problem. He can figure it out. She's not allowed to flunk him for discrimination or whatever reasons. It's his choice whether to turn in his final for the semester and the drama is a whole separate matter.
Sigh. Freakin' headaches. Damn. So I'm going to drive to TJ's and replace all of Josh's food I ate. What a nice sister. Gee.
Mm, salad sounds good, haven't had one in ages.
Next semester is going to be hell. I'm going to tackle it with a different procedure though. One with more library time, less stressing, less bullshit and more focusing. Yeah, that's right. Yea.
Head hurts, as usual.
This is cool though. I keep getting badded on tmbo.org. Oh well.
And, I'm for sure not going to follow through on Folawole's shite. Not my business. Not my problem. He can figure it out. She's not allowed to flunk him for discrimination or whatever reasons. It's his choice whether to turn in his final for the semester and the drama is a whole separate matter.
Sigh. Freakin' headaches. Damn. So I'm going to drive to TJ's and replace all of Josh's food I ate. What a nice sister. Gee.
Mm, salad sounds good, haven't had one in ages.
Next semester is going to be hell. I'm going to tackle it with a different procedure though. One with more library time, less stressing, less bullshit and more focusing. Yeah, that's right. Yea.
06 December 2005
slideshow
here's some photos from my mom's trip to cambodia:
I didn't take them. Vasna did.
I want to go.
I didn't take them. Vasna did.
I want to go.
03 December 2005
something's fishy
uh...
Why are the guys who are building the fence on the side of my house staring into my truck like something cute is sleeping inside of it? They're all taking turns gazing into the driver side window and talking about something... wierdos. There's nothing interesting about the interior of my truck... It's pretty wierd seeing all kinds of guys standing around our back yard looking at our messes on their lunch break. Geez...
Anyway it's Saturday and it's half as windy as it was yesterday, and the sun's actually out, so I'm going to take Eager Edgar out for a spin, a short one for a brain break, then I'll come back and finish the paper for astronomy...
What else is wierd is a year ago, a motorcyclist was racing a porsche in flordia, and being followed by a state trooper, whose tire blew and he lost control and died. Now the motorcyclist is sentenced 30 years because of it. And he didn't even know the trooper was following, let alone did he have anything real to do with his death, other than racing a porsche. Link: Local 6 story
The thing I'm [Pat Campbell] having trouble with is the aggravated manslaughter and vehicular homicide charges. Williams didn't kill Trooper Haywood. He didn't run him off the road. A tire blow out at high speeds caused the trooper's car to crash. How do you hold Williams responsible for the actions of the officer? Trooper Haywood made a conscious decision to pursue the motorcycle in clear violation of his own departments pursuit policy. The only time the FHP can give pursuit is in a case involving a forcible felony. Trooper Haywood made a bad judgment call he put himself and fellow motorist at risk, sadly it cost him his life. The better option was to let a helicopter follow the cyclist. These charges fly in the face of personal responsibility how do you hold one man responsible for the decision and actions of another?
And, a cat stowed away on a plane and made it 3 weeks in a box of paper.
Why are the guys who are building the fence on the side of my house staring into my truck like something cute is sleeping inside of it? They're all taking turns gazing into the driver side window and talking about something... wierdos. There's nothing interesting about the interior of my truck... It's pretty wierd seeing all kinds of guys standing around our back yard looking at our messes on their lunch break. Geez...
Anyway it's Saturday and it's half as windy as it was yesterday, and the sun's actually out, so I'm going to take Eager Edgar out for a spin, a short one for a brain break, then I'll come back and finish the paper for astronomy...
What else is wierd is a year ago, a motorcyclist was racing a porsche in flordia, and being followed by a state trooper, whose tire blew and he lost control and died. Now the motorcyclist is sentenced 30 years because of it. And he didn't even know the trooper was following, let alone did he have anything real to do with his death, other than racing a porsche. Link: Local 6 story
The thing I'm [Pat Campbell] having trouble with is the aggravated manslaughter and vehicular homicide charges. Williams didn't kill Trooper Haywood. He didn't run him off the road. A tire blow out at high speeds caused the trooper's car to crash. How do you hold Williams responsible for the actions of the officer? Trooper Haywood made a conscious decision to pursue the motorcycle in clear violation of his own departments pursuit policy. The only time the FHP can give pursuit is in a case involving a forcible felony. Trooper Haywood made a bad judgment call he put himself and fellow motorist at risk, sadly it cost him his life. The better option was to let a helicopter follow the cyclist. These charges fly in the face of personal responsibility how do you hold one man responsible for the decision and actions of another?
And, a cat stowed away on a plane and made it 3 weeks in a box of paper.
28 November 2005
goin' home home on the range
Just bought tix: Dec 20th-29th
Home to big skies, dirty cold snow, old friends, here I come!!
Home to big skies, dirty cold snow, old friends, here I come!!
20 November 2005
my tits are too big
So ... Sunday nite... here I am...
Mom went home today, after a very short and very sweet visit. Just right. That's about as much of a quick parental visit as I needed right now... It was amazing going throuhg all of her photos from Cambodia, freaking incredible place, wracked with disease, trash, poverty, and an insane amount of beauty and simplicity. At some point I hope to make an online gallery of some of my favorite photos that her travel buddy Vasna took, a professional photographer who supposedly was funded for this trip to take photos of the orphanage. Mom gave me the organisation's info so if at some point in time I can do something like that, I'd leave this crazy place for some simplicity in a second.
Beside that, things are goood- I went by REI today and forked out a hundred bucks for a tent (thanx Mom) and went by Josh's to pick up his camcorder. It's going to be fun to use, I have a feeling I'll have my digicam in one hand and the camcorder in the other, with nothing to do but photograph and film every exciting stupidly boringly warm and entertaining thing that happens to us or we incur on our adventures south this week... At least (knock on wood) the weather's going to be fine as hell for us... !
... I just got 9/10 on the last stupid quiz I had to take for the broadcasting class, and one more paper to write and the final to take, that'll be over with. I have to figure out what I'm going to do for the final project for the shitty astronomy class, something about Mars, I'll watch a video or two and pull something satisfactory out of my rectum when we get back from SD. And, I have to re-write the not-so-Intelligent Design paper for English, and I think that'll be it for that class, I already completed the silly paper for Psychology, I think it's sufficient, I may go over it again but chances are I'll risk it the way it is... Hm- sounds like that's it.
- bcst paper
- bcst final
- astr paper
- astr fieldtrip
- astr fieldtrip paper
- astr final
- psych final
- english paper revise for next week
- english paper final revise
AND THEN IT"S OVER WITH!!!!!!1 Whee.
So: for tomorrow:
- go to class 10-12
- go to Stonestown - eye exam / glasses / sunglasses
- packing (5 to 6 days worth stuff, reused and stinky to pack light, of course)
- sleeping bag, pad, tent, solar light
- 1 pair jeans
- 1 pair nice-ish pants & shirt etc. for going out with people
- 1 nice outfit for Turkey Day
- 1 pair shorts/skirt (could apply to above, reuse)
- bathing suit & towel
- sufficient socks & undies
- sufficient tops
- 1 warm thing on top
- flipflops & shoes
- toiletries, including first aid stuff jic
- snax to munch on, water, matte!!
- camera(s), film, xtra batteries, phone, money, brain
- school shite (to make good use of vacation time, yep yep)
- call Miles in L.A.
This sounds like a lot now but it's really not... Just enough, not too much, and all will pack nicely in my sack, no problem...
I love adventures...
Mom went home today, after a very short and very sweet visit. Just right. That's about as much of a quick parental visit as I needed right now... It was amazing going throuhg all of her photos from Cambodia, freaking incredible place, wracked with disease, trash, poverty, and an insane amount of beauty and simplicity. At some point I hope to make an online gallery of some of my favorite photos that her travel buddy Vasna took, a professional photographer who supposedly was funded for this trip to take photos of the orphanage. Mom gave me the organisation's info so if at some point in time I can do something like that, I'd leave this crazy place for some simplicity in a second.
Beside that, things are goood- I went by REI today and forked out a hundred bucks for a tent (thanx Mom) and went by Josh's to pick up his camcorder. It's going to be fun to use, I have a feeling I'll have my digicam in one hand and the camcorder in the other, with nothing to do but photograph and film every exciting stupidly boringly warm and entertaining thing that happens to us or we incur on our adventures south this week... At least (knock on wood) the weather's going to be fine as hell for us... !
... I just got 9/10 on the last stupid quiz I had to take for the broadcasting class, and one more paper to write and the final to take, that'll be over with. I have to figure out what I'm going to do for the final project for the shitty astronomy class, something about Mars, I'll watch a video or two and pull something satisfactory out of my rectum when we get back from SD. And, I have to re-write the not-so-Intelligent Design paper for English, and I think that'll be it for that class, I already completed the silly paper for Psychology, I think it's sufficient, I may go over it again but chances are I'll risk it the way it is... Hm- sounds like that's it.
- bcst paper
- bcst final
- astr paper
- astr fieldtrip
- astr fieldtrip paper
- astr final
- psych final
- english paper revise for next week
- english paper final revise
AND THEN IT"S OVER WITH!!!!!!1 Whee.
So: for tomorrow:
- go to class 10-12
- go to Stonestown - eye exam / glasses / sunglasses
- packing (5 to 6 days worth stuff, reused and stinky to pack light, of course)
- sleeping bag, pad, tent, solar light
- 1 pair jeans
- 1 pair nice-ish pants & shirt etc. for going out with people
- 1 nice outfit for Turkey Day
- 1 pair shorts/skirt (could apply to above, reuse)
- bathing suit & towel
- sufficient socks & undies
- sufficient tops
- 1 warm thing on top
- flipflops & shoes
- toiletries, including first aid stuff jic
- snax to munch on, water, matte!!
- camera(s), film, xtra batteries, phone, money, brain
- school shite (to make good use of vacation time, yep yep)
- call Miles in L.A.
This sounds like a lot now but it's really not... Just enough, not too much, and all will pack nicely in my sack, no problem...
I love adventures...
16 November 2005
14:30 and it's a C maybe B paper done
Sweetness... it's only a few hours into the clickity clack of my sticking and dusty keyboard, and 5 pages of Wal-Mart bullshit pain, good enough to qualify for minor satisfaction. I'm thinking, considering I've gotten an A- on my first two papers, most likely got a B on the last one, that this one might get a B. I didn't really follow through on the guidelines of the rhetorical means of writing, but we'll see... maybe this one will be the one I end up revising for the final.
Now, I get to think about the upcoming visit from Mamacita, in two days, and what we're going to concoct for supper on Friday, how much ridiculous cleaning I'm going to rock out manana, and hopefully it'll be a good one. I also have to start thinking about what I'm going to do for my final project for that stupid Astronomy class... Argh...
Well, other than that, things are cherry. Now that I have a few hours left over and I feel freed by a mediocre essay about the evil Wal-Mart empire, I'll make m'self an ensalade and go to the gym before handing in the 2nd to last paper I have to pull out of my ass this semester... Whoo hoo.
'ciao bao bambino...
Now, I get to think about the upcoming visit from Mamacita, in two days, and what we're going to concoct for supper on Friday, how much ridiculous cleaning I'm going to rock out manana, and hopefully it'll be a good one. I also have to start thinking about what I'm going to do for my final project for that stupid Astronomy class... Argh...
Well, other than that, things are cherry. Now that I have a few hours left over and I feel freed by a mediocre essay about the evil Wal-Mart empire, I'll make m'self an ensalade and go to the gym before handing in the 2nd to last paper I have to pull out of my ass this semester... Whoo hoo.
'ciao bao bambino...
14 November 2005
[phone pix]
Bright Eyes at the Civic auditorium last month...
Amy got hit on her motorcycle today, by some asswipe who entered a roundabout the wrong way without obeying his stop sign. She's ok, sore, busted, bruised, but no bones broken... Her bike's totalled, according to Jan, and she just put 400 bones into it at the shop last week, and now it's fucked. Lame. And, the guy left. At least she has his business card and it was totally his fault, though he'll most likely deny it. 'tis a dangerous game we play...
Funny how that happens, they're chattin it up outside my window this morning, "have a safe ride," I hear... and two hours later I come back from school to a freaked out roomate... that's no fun. We went down to the crime scene and took some photos of the skid marks and street scratches, the guy probably lives up the cul-de-sac...
Oh well... And, I'm having a tough ass time writing this stupid Wal-Mart paper. Ugh. I do do some of my best work last minute, that's for sure... We know what Tuesday will entail! I think I'll go drop in on that yoga class tonight. That'd be cool.
Ciao.
13 November 2005
sweetness.
so, after some ebaying, I purchased both an extra battery and a car charger neat thingadadood, so crossing fingers that I get them before we leave on the road trip...
Things are good, I went for a ride today on my trusty ol' GT, down to the Stern Grove- that place really is badass! It makes me seriously want a dog. A big, furry fuzzy happy bouncing running slobbering dog.... There was this one mom and two kids who wouldn't let her lab off his leash, and all these dogs were playing together and I could tell how fucked up this dog would be from not being able to run around, in effect being entirely tortured... assholes. I can only feel ok about it if that dog were some kind of attack dog and if she were to let him off his leash he would come and maul me as I sat on the grass reading and trying not to pay attention to the frat party barbeque next to me...
Anyway... shower, movie... chillin.
Things are good, I went for a ride today on my trusty ol' GT, down to the Stern Grove- that place really is badass! It makes me seriously want a dog. A big, furry fuzzy happy bouncing running slobbering dog.... There was this one mom and two kids who wouldn't let her lab off his leash, and all these dogs were playing together and I could tell how fucked up this dog would be from not being able to run around, in effect being entirely tortured... assholes. I can only feel ok about it if that dog were some kind of attack dog and if she were to let him off his leash he would come and maul me as I sat on the grass reading and trying not to pay attention to the frat party barbeque next to me...
Anyway... shower, movie... chillin.
11 November 2005
jeezus.
the Basement Monster is a f*cking FREAK. If I move out of here he will certainly be the number one reason. Damn. Sometimes he just drives me batty.
Anyway - here are a couple of very cool websites I've stumbled upon:
.some fancy photographer guy.
.neat flash site to explore.
Check them out. They require at least more than a few moments of browsing, each.
Anyway - here are a couple of very cool websites I've stumbled upon:
.some fancy photographer guy.
.neat flash site to explore.
Check them out. They require at least more than a few moments of browsing, each.
10 November 2005
08 November 2005
done my duty.
I figure if the Governator's going to spend billions on a special election, I may as well participate.
Gah.
dammit.
So I went out and bought a 50 dollar bathing suit the other day because my old blue one was not only falling apart, but also missing. Then today I looked behind Amy's towel and there it was! DAMMIT. I just realized that I had better just wear it until it completely dissintegrates and keep my new one in better condition, because all I'm doing at 24 is sitting in the steam room and doing a few laps now and then. If I don't gain eighty pounds then the new one will last a long time.
Oh well.
Oh well.
07 November 2005
raaaain raaaain
Good ol' Joe, the toads echo in my ears like the sunset nights of stories at the teepee- frogs get their wish tonite! Rrrrraaaaaaaaaainn... Lokey just came in meowing and caterwauling like the rain soaked through straight to his cat soul, as if three of his lives were washed away down the storm drains in his roaming excitement. Silly gato.
I'm waiting on a tune to be sent to me from Jonathan- the antipation is killing me!
And I just finished up the Wal-Mart thing for our presentation on Weds, we'll see what the other gals think, and I printed up some badges from the documentary that's coming out soon- thought they were cute as hell and since we're acting like disgruntled "Associates" I figured these would make good costume badges. Hah, flair.
Anyways, things are truckin' along... good thing there's no school Friday or else I'd go nuts.
I'm waiting on a tune to be sent to me from Jonathan- the antipation is killing me!
And I just finished up the Wal-Mart thing for our presentation on Weds, we'll see what the other gals think, and I printed up some badges from the documentary that's coming out soon- thought they were cute as hell and since we're acting like disgruntled "Associates" I figured these would make good costume badges. Hah, flair.
Anyways, things are truckin' along... good thing there's no school Friday or else I'd go nuts.
05 November 2005
Gimme Raul!
Hi! (title stems from the opening scene of the Negotiator with Samuel L Jackson talking about the pit-bull Raul...
So - today's been a good day so far... I woke up at 8 with Amy and Jan babbling about something or other, then managed to get back to sleep and wake up again with the Basement Monster yelling at his laundry at 9:30.
For some reason I was really really raging with hormones and pissed off, (well not like the reason is so mysterious that looking at a calendar can't pickpoint it obviously)... so I banged around the dishes and did them as loudly as I possibly could, while Cassie and Jan giggled in his bedroom and gave me a messy crotch shot that wasn't exactly needed, but managed to squeeze a giggle out of me too - Then, I spent the rest of the morning working on the Porsche slideshow, and figured out that I'm sick to death of the one I've been using on my website, and I'm going to have to start all over and organize my shite so it doesn't try to load two slideshows simultaneously. It's been driving me absofuckinglutely nutsoid and I couldn't handle it anymore... so, on with a new program- and despite its little ad at the bottom, it turns out rather nicely for Jeffey's show... I think he'll dig it for web stuff, and then at some point later when shcool isn't killing me I'll make the DVD for his dad with him... w00t!
Link: .latest shenanegans.
And then- once that was done for the day, I looked outside and since I was cold and uncomfortable I straddled ol' Eager Elephante Apfeffeles and had a blast around town. I practiced some turns around the neighborhood racetrack and then went up Sloat by the golf course and up the Great Highway and up Susnet and down through SFState and ripped it up around all those roundabouts, gaining speed and confidence bit by bit... It felt good, and then once I made it home and managed to avoid at least 3 accidents with dumbasses, the sun started to slowly recede behind the houses...
And now, with the Basement Monster and his drunken assholic friends yelling at their football games downstairs, I've got good ol' Sammy J on the tube for backround noise as I hunker down to figure out my shite for school...
What to do!
- read BCST stuff, take rest of quizzes thru ch 14.
- read PSHYCH stuff, answer all q's on study guide for next exam on the 14th.
- read ASTR crap, finish that lame homework that's probably due Monday.
- hm... science is probably priority tonite. Yep.
Current mood: glad I don't have to bleed profusely constantly...
Current music: none, duhh...
So - today's been a good day so far... I woke up at 8 with Amy and Jan babbling about something or other, then managed to get back to sleep and wake up again with the Basement Monster yelling at his laundry at 9:30.
For some reason I was really really raging with hormones and pissed off, (well not like the reason is so mysterious that looking at a calendar can't pickpoint it obviously)... so I banged around the dishes and did them as loudly as I possibly could, while Cassie and Jan giggled in his bedroom and gave me a messy crotch shot that wasn't exactly needed, but managed to squeeze a giggle out of me too - Then, I spent the rest of the morning working on the Porsche slideshow, and figured out that I'm sick to death of the one I've been using on my website, and I'm going to have to start all over and organize my shite so it doesn't try to load two slideshows simultaneously. It's been driving me absofuckinglutely nutsoid and I couldn't handle it anymore... so, on with a new program- and despite its little ad at the bottom, it turns out rather nicely for Jeffey's show... I think he'll dig it for web stuff, and then at some point later when shcool isn't killing me I'll make the DVD for his dad with him... w00t!
Link: .latest shenanegans.
And then- once that was done for the day, I looked outside and since I was cold and uncomfortable I straddled ol' Eager Elephante Apfeffeles and had a blast around town. I practiced some turns around the neighborhood racetrack and then went up Sloat by the golf course and up the Great Highway and up Susnet and down through SFState and ripped it up around all those roundabouts, gaining speed and confidence bit by bit... It felt good, and then once I made it home and managed to avoid at least 3 accidents with dumbasses, the sun started to slowly recede behind the houses...
And now, with the Basement Monster and his drunken assholic friends yelling at their football games downstairs, I've got good ol' Sammy J on the tube for backround noise as I hunker down to figure out my shite for school...
What to do!
- read BCST stuff, take rest of quizzes thru ch 14.
- read PSHYCH stuff, answer all q's on study guide for next exam on the 14th.
- read ASTR crap, finish that lame homework that's probably due Monday.
- hm... science is probably priority tonite. Yep.
Current mood: glad I don't have to bleed profusely constantly...
Current music: none, duhh...
03 November 2005
major frustrations..
I am seriously considering scrapping slideshowpro... It's really not doing what it's supposed to at all, and it's driving me flippin NUTS. I tell it to show the gallery at startup, instead of jump right into the first one like it does as default, but the bastard thing isn't doing what it's supposed to, and nobody on the support forum visits that godforsaken place. argh.
30 October 2005
Los Cuates
I'm yearnin for good cuisina nuevo mexicana... Good thing I bought Mom's tickets to come visit me in a couple of weeks, and she'll come toting tons of green chile, I sure hope...
Dug up this old shot of me at Los Cuates on Lomas- that's the first spot I plan on stopping as soon as I get home for the holidays.
Things are ok- the past couple of days have been a blur of feeling very strange and not quite knowing what's going on inside my head or my skeleton- Halloween is tomorrow and I don't think I could give a smaller shit about it, but I do remember the fun we used to have as kids- now it's just a very strange reason for frat kids to party and people to drive like assholes.
Today I ended up going to the gym for 3 hours and sweating buckets, it felt good... tomorrow I want to ride my bike up to school and then ride through that park off 19th that I've yet to check out. They have jazz there on sundays in the summertime, I figured if today looked and felt anything remotely close to being as sunny as today then I'll zoom down there on the pedal pusher (not good ol' edgar) and build up that self worth. ! (that's it! that's what's missing! and frickin' POT makes it disappear! no wonder...)
So, things to do are as follows:
- Read chapters about venus and mars for science class. Work on shitty homework (due Friday I think)...
- Write paper for Broadcast class.. due the 3rd.
- Read Psych.
- Read for English the case study.
- drink more water.
and sleep. ah, and yeah I guess I'll try to smile.
Dug up this old shot of me at Los Cuates on Lomas- that's the first spot I plan on stopping as soon as I get home for the holidays.
Things are ok- the past couple of days have been a blur of feeling very strange and not quite knowing what's going on inside my head or my skeleton- Halloween is tomorrow and I don't think I could give a smaller shit about it, but I do remember the fun we used to have as kids- now it's just a very strange reason for frat kids to party and people to drive like assholes.
Today I ended up going to the gym for 3 hours and sweating buckets, it felt good... tomorrow I want to ride my bike up to school and then ride through that park off 19th that I've yet to check out. They have jazz there on sundays in the summertime, I figured if today looked and felt anything remotely close to being as sunny as today then I'll zoom down there on the pedal pusher (not good ol' edgar) and build up that self worth. ! (that's it! that's what's missing! and frickin' POT makes it disappear! no wonder...)
So, things to do are as follows:
- Read chapters about venus and mars for science class. Work on shitty homework (due Friday I think)...
- Write paper for Broadcast class.. due the 3rd.
- Read Psych.
- Read for English the case study.
- drink more water.
and sleep. ah, and yeah I guess I'll try to smile.
25 October 2005
people are stupid
I have to admit I'm a little pissed that out of 3500 entries, the bbc photo department did not pick one of my photos to be one of the top 12. And out of the photos they did pick only four I thought were good photos.
It's the same thing as a seasoned sound-man audio engineer who's done over 10,000 shows gets desensitised to seeing concerts. It's like I look at photographs with such a critical eye that it makes it hard to just enjoy it for what it is instead of have some kind of conviction and be offended when measly little mine seem exponentially better than theirs. Damn.
Ok I'm a lot pissed. People are stupid. Stupid stupid stupid. And I'm selfish. Yep.
It's the same thing as a seasoned sound-man audio engineer who's done over 10,000 shows gets desensitised to seeing concerts. It's like I look at photographs with such a critical eye that it makes it hard to just enjoy it for what it is instead of have some kind of conviction and be offended when measly little mine seem exponentially better than theirs. Damn.
Ok I'm a lot pissed. People are stupid. Stupid stupid stupid. And I'm selfish. Yep.
24 October 2005
so glad
... that I don't live here anymore...
As I spend time so stiff in caffe pergolesi, with a hard ass bench beneath my sore behind, I have a lady familiar sitting behind me, cutting and pasting and being so crafty, glad she's not being her bossy self and I'm not schlepping boxes around right now with her at the civic...
And across the room on the far side are Chip and Ron, the latter of the two doesn't remember who I am even though I've handled his lights and circuited his boards a couple times before... and Chip says yes the Attic does have wireless, "you might be able to get it from here" but the signal here isn't even that strong.
Regardless, my mind is blank and writing this paper seems like the hardest thing in the world to do right now, so hard to focus on evolutionism and creationism, when all I really want to do is get back in my warm bed...
hmm...
It's odd seeing so many people I know and have worked with in the past not saying g'bye and hope I never have to see you again, that look in their eyes, a glare and stare hidden behind dark glasses...
I miss it but I don't. I miss it but I won't. I miss it but I can't afford to desire it, like I desire the familiar past of New Mexico mountains and sky, the night lights like flickering fireflies buzzing around so prominent like moths just asking to be killed, clapped between my hands and set free of their annoying existence... heh.
As I spend time so stiff in caffe pergolesi, with a hard ass bench beneath my sore behind, I have a lady familiar sitting behind me, cutting and pasting and being so crafty, glad she's not being her bossy self and I'm not schlepping boxes around right now with her at the civic...
And across the room on the far side are Chip and Ron, the latter of the two doesn't remember who I am even though I've handled his lights and circuited his boards a couple times before... and Chip says yes the Attic does have wireless, "you might be able to get it from here" but the signal here isn't even that strong.
Regardless, my mind is blank and writing this paper seems like the hardest thing in the world to do right now, so hard to focus on evolutionism and creationism, when all I really want to do is get back in my warm bed...
hmm...
It's odd seeing so many people I know and have worked with in the past not saying g'bye and hope I never have to see you again, that look in their eyes, a glare and stare hidden behind dark glasses...
I miss it but I don't. I miss it but I won't. I miss it but I can't afford to desire it, like I desire the familiar past of New Mexico mountains and sky, the night lights like flickering fireflies buzzing around so prominent like moths just asking to be killed, clapped between my hands and set free of their annoying existence... heh.
20 October 2005
i'm still a foghead
I have to sympathize with Chicken Little... on days like today I really do feel like the sky is falling, that the steam rising from the heat of millions of people running around like crazy on the ground rises, only to fall back down to earth...
As I rub my feet together in their disheveled and decrepid slippers to generate some heat, the familiar ol' cheetah print fuzzy footseys that I've worn for years and hold in most high esteem, I yearn for thick curtains to block out the impending doom of winter. For some reason I've been transported back in my imagination to a dry and barren land, of high altitude and heavy clouds full of snow. White, gorgeous, fluffy and cool snow, the smart stuff, the stuff that comes down, floating through the polluted air to land and stick and smoke till it dies...
I miss snow... I feel betrayed by my own choice to live here, in this tricky environment, where wheather makes no sense and is so foreign to me- like I'm permanently on leave from reality in a wet world where the sky choses to fool me by looking like winter, when really I know it won't ever be a true winter...
I woke up this morning to look out the window and be fooled again by my curtains and the trees outside, at first I was excited that I actually saw some blue peeking through, then as time continued to move forward as it always does, I realized that I was not in such luck... I feel like I've holed myself up inside where it's half-warm and half-cold for too long, days on end... where one day melts into the next with no variety... Yet it's rediculously tough to tap into that hidden motivation to put gas in my busted up trusty Edgar Elephante and buzz around this foggy city. The city that will eventually fall into the ocean...
I want to take my "euphemism" as Uncle Greaseball dubbed the love of my life, hide in a room full of hot steam and hold him so tight that we become the moon... Up in interstellar galactica where nothing like the stoopid weather can make us feel like we're ever miles apart. Sometimes one or two days feels like eternity, and I can't see the moon through the clouds no matter how hard I squint my squeaky eyes... but everything I know and trust in tells me it's still there.
It's pretty intense how the influence of temperature and breeze outside my window makes me mood crazy. Slightly productive, I've written my extra credit assignment up for Astronomy and done some minor changes with the website, and I've got a list of things to do a mile long as ususal... Still - all I feel like doing is soaking in a hot hot hot tub of precious water, but I know that my water heater can't heat up the water hot enough to satisfy... I want it so hot it'll scald all the bruises off my body, dissolve all the dead skin into smithereens, soak through my chest and infiltrate me with energy and cleanse me so thoroughly it'll be like I've got to start from scratch. I want to take a breath of air and feel what it's like for the very first time, fresh with none of this crap that contaminates my lungs... and mind... and soul...
I feel.... strange... to say the least.
As I rub my feet together in their disheveled and decrepid slippers to generate some heat, the familiar ol' cheetah print fuzzy footseys that I've worn for years and hold in most high esteem, I yearn for thick curtains to block out the impending doom of winter. For some reason I've been transported back in my imagination to a dry and barren land, of high altitude and heavy clouds full of snow. White, gorgeous, fluffy and cool snow, the smart stuff, the stuff that comes down, floating through the polluted air to land and stick and smoke till it dies...
I miss snow... I feel betrayed by my own choice to live here, in this tricky environment, where wheather makes no sense and is so foreign to me- like I'm permanently on leave from reality in a wet world where the sky choses to fool me by looking like winter, when really I know it won't ever be a true winter...
I woke up this morning to look out the window and be fooled again by my curtains and the trees outside, at first I was excited that I actually saw some blue peeking through, then as time continued to move forward as it always does, I realized that I was not in such luck... I feel like I've holed myself up inside where it's half-warm and half-cold for too long, days on end... where one day melts into the next with no variety... Yet it's rediculously tough to tap into that hidden motivation to put gas in my busted up trusty Edgar Elephante and buzz around this foggy city. The city that will eventually fall into the ocean...
I want to take my "euphemism" as Uncle Greaseball dubbed the love of my life, hide in a room full of hot steam and hold him so tight that we become the moon... Up in interstellar galactica where nothing like the stoopid weather can make us feel like we're ever miles apart. Sometimes one or two days feels like eternity, and I can't see the moon through the clouds no matter how hard I squint my squeaky eyes... but everything I know and trust in tells me it's still there.
It's pretty intense how the influence of temperature and breeze outside my window makes me mood crazy. Slightly productive, I've written my extra credit assignment up for Astronomy and done some minor changes with the website, and I've got a list of things to do a mile long as ususal... Still - all I feel like doing is soaking in a hot hot hot tub of precious water, but I know that my water heater can't heat up the water hot enough to satisfy... I want it so hot it'll scald all the bruises off my body, dissolve all the dead skin into smithereens, soak through my chest and infiltrate me with energy and cleanse me so thoroughly it'll be like I've got to start from scratch. I want to take a breath of air and feel what it's like for the very first time, fresh with none of this crap that contaminates my lungs... and mind... and soul...
I feel.... strange... to say the least.
19 October 2005
18 October 2005
RRRAAAGGGGEEOICNCIN
I"m pissed and frustrated. Something appened with my slideshow and I messed it up big time that the audio plays right away and IT"S DRIVING ME BATTTTTTTY
I can't figure out why the heck it woul play that track right away
nothing is showing up odd in my XML, nothing is turned on or off in the flash document taht would make it do it like htat
and NODBODY cares
argh.
he heee
i need to chill out about it and do some schoolwork.
update: fixed it...
I can't figure out why the heck it woul play that track right away
nothing is showing up odd in my XML, nothing is turned on or off in the flash document taht would make it do it like htat
and NODBODY cares
argh.
he heee
i need to chill out about it and do some schoolwork.
update: fixed it...
14 October 2005
wheeoop.
Hurm...
What's going on in La La Land lately... I have a dry cough. I'm cold in my house, and I'm contemplating whether I should take the midterm (2 hours online) before or after making salad for myself... I suppose after would be a good idea, to have some energy focused both at my stomach and at my brain would be beneficial. Also I wish some of the classical music on the iTunes radio wasn't so freakin cheezy. I just want some quality Mozart and Vivaldi, not silly harpsichordal elevator junk they're passing off as easy relaxation music. Too peppy and chintzy to be good study music. Ick.
Eager Edgar Elephante Apfeffeles! If I get my midterm done tonight then I'll take him out for some practice practice practice manana with the roomey... Yeeay.
And if this stoopid cough doesn't go away then I will go back to the SHC on Monday after class. Missed my chance today, I was too hungry to stay on campus and wait for an appointment.
Ivey called again today- makes me think that if he's reaching out so much and calling that he really must be having a hard time in NM or something. I hope she's not trying to beat him up.
OK salad and study and midterm and then read some science. Yay.
UPDATE - 8 pm: Midterm exam grade: 69 correct out of 70 = 98.57% !!!
What's going on in La La Land lately... I have a dry cough. I'm cold in my house, and I'm contemplating whether I should take the midterm (2 hours online) before or after making salad for myself... I suppose after would be a good idea, to have some energy focused both at my stomach and at my brain would be beneficial. Also I wish some of the classical music on the iTunes radio wasn't so freakin cheezy. I just want some quality Mozart and Vivaldi, not silly harpsichordal elevator junk they're passing off as easy relaxation music. Too peppy and chintzy to be good study music. Ick.
Eager Edgar Elephante Apfeffeles! If I get my midterm done tonight then I'll take him out for some practice practice practice manana with the roomey... Yeeay.
And if this stoopid cough doesn't go away then I will go back to the SHC on Monday after class. Missed my chance today, I was too hungry to stay on campus and wait for an appointment.
Ivey called again today- makes me think that if he's reaching out so much and calling that he really must be having a hard time in NM or something. I hope she's not trying to beat him up.
OK salad and study and midterm and then read some science. Yay.
UPDATE - 8 pm: Midterm exam grade: 69 correct out of 70 = 98.57% !!!
08 October 2005
foto lab
I wish I was in a photography class right now...
I'll definitely sign up for one next semester. No doubt about that.
I have some film to process, and I want to be in that again, the chemicals on my hands, the smell of stop-bath on my clothes, the dark light penetrating my brainwaves...
In the meantime, I need to find some place in the city that won't rape me for pricing, and will do a half decent job printing up some 4 x 6's and a photo-cd, and doesn't kill my film or lose it like Walgreens would...
Any ideas, pals?
Also, I think it's rediculous that I ask the internets blindly questions, and expect someone to actually comment back? Noone cares...
I'm gonna go eat some worms.
I'll definitely sign up for one next semester. No doubt about that.
I have some film to process, and I want to be in that again, the chemicals on my hands, the smell of stop-bath on my clothes, the dark light penetrating my brainwaves...
In the meantime, I need to find some place in the city that won't rape me for pricing, and will do a half decent job printing up some 4 x 6's and a photo-cd, and doesn't kill my film or lose it like Walgreens would...
Any ideas, pals?
Also, I think it's rediculous that I ask the internets blindly questions, and expect someone to actually comment back? Noone cares...
I'm gonna go eat some worms.
07 October 2005
don't quite know
What do I think of this? Dunno... I've had ferrets named Lois and Clark before, but to name an actual child Kal-El??
That's a bit much...
06 October 2005
cough cough, wheeze wheeze
Rgh. I am full of compalints right now. As my chest feels like it weighs a ton, my pores feel clogged with muck and all the tea and vitamin c in the world could do nothing but make me woozy. It was rediculously hard getting out of bed this morning, but with Jan's obnoxious horn honking blow of a nose multiple times in the shower, and the Basement Monster blasting good ol' oldies as usual, I almost had no choice but to bear it and budge. Damn, it was hard, but now that I'm up I'm back down again, now sitting in the liv' room trying out the iBook.
I want one! I so don't need one, but it's tough telling yourself that what you want is not really something that you need, and you really should save the money that isn't even yours in the first place to just finish paying off the last big splurge you did...
Anyway... Ivey called again yesterday and he didn't sound too happy about getting married... can't say that I blame him. With all his tough-love past experiences it's almost as if he doesn't know anything different, and marrying a homocidal psycho maniac freak of a bitch is just another way of him feeling loved because she needs him, when in all reality she's the worst possible match for him.
Lemon tea mixed with ginger tea = yummy.
I want one! I so don't need one, but it's tough telling yourself that what you want is not really something that you need, and you really should save the money that isn't even yours in the first place to just finish paying off the last big splurge you did...
Anyway... Ivey called again yesterday and he didn't sound too happy about getting married... can't say that I blame him. With all his tough-love past experiences it's almost as if he doesn't know anything different, and marrying a homocidal psycho maniac freak of a bitch is just another way of him feeling loved because she needs him, when in all reality she's the worst possible match for him.
Lemon tea mixed with ginger tea = yummy.
04 October 2005
03 October 2005
mm... cake...
I just made my favourite cake - the poppyseed sherry butterscotch cake... mm... dinner tonight's going to be fantastic! Too bad I have a freakin' paper to focus on too, otherwise I'd be seriously cookin' up the rest right now. I'm marinating the meat, and will steam the greens when the meat is broilin'... I'm wondering if I even want to do the salad thing- we'll see... Couldn't hurt to make it, I guess.
My keyboard is sticky.
My keyboard is sticky.
02 October 2005
sunday bloody sunday
Seems it's been a while since I've written anything here... A lot has been going on in my life lately and I just haven't had the patience to even think about things, for some reason... My mom's in Cambodia and since I haven't heard from her yet I'm assuming that she's fine, prancing around probably one of the tall ones at her booming 4'11", helping orphans build their new school, or whatever it is she's doing over there. So, I'm only slightly worried that things aren't going as planned for her but I know that she'll be fine with whoever the young photographer girl she went with, who should be me...
Anyway... I have another paper due in my English course on whether or not Muslim American women are gaining more rights and freedoms here than they would have in other countries, and I have to brainstorm a bit about it before I really get cooking on the paper. I don't think that they really are aside from the natural basic rights of freedom that any person once they become an American citizen is granted. They have equal rights to practice religion as anyone else in the country, they have just as much opportunity to grow and prosper in their personal and professional lives as any other American, and they have access to the legal system's protection from discrimination or domestic abuse, etc.,... In the middle east, more and more women are gaining rights there as well, with more women being trained to fight for their individual communities' causes, and more freedom of choice regarding the religious requirements to wear the hijad or allow their husbands to have multiple wives, yet of course it is easier here as there is less daily bombing and other atrocities, and more protection from violence than the media might allude to nowadays... I think I've got plenty to go on with that... Goal- done by Tuesday night, revised and completed to turn in by Wednesday. I got an A- on the last one!
I just freakin' hope that one of these days soon dammit, my Life in the Universe textbook will arrive. I can't believe I spent extra money on "expedited shipping" to have it still not here a month and a half later. Sheesh. Lame.
And, in other parts of La La Land- I sent a message to Adam the other day regarding my busted right hand mirror, and hopped into the Zephyr-Zone for a second, to find out that a well-known Bay Area rider had been misisng and ended up sending her bike and herself off a cliff last week... Bummer. The website he'd set up was a treat- the photo of the ocean from between the fallen bike's handlebars, the messages from friends and family... Even though I didn't know her, the photo of the turn-out where her helmet and gloves were found and the red mark where her body and bike was found hundreds of feet below really made me ... I dunno, sick to my stomach, I suppose....
I just have to be safe. Really really careful and conscious. And, if either myself or anyone I really care about gets to that point of reeling ourselves of a cliff, by gosh, we better be sure of it, and do it well... At this point in my life when I really know nothing else but the fact that I'm in love and living a great life in a foggy city, I can only hope for the best and send out my love to those who need it, all over the goddamn planet.
Current mood: Shucks.
Current music: "Counting off the Days" by ...And you will know us by the trail of dead - The secret of Elana's tomb.
Anyway... I have another paper due in my English course on whether or not Muslim American women are gaining more rights and freedoms here than they would have in other countries, and I have to brainstorm a bit about it before I really get cooking on the paper. I don't think that they really are aside from the natural basic rights of freedom that any person once they become an American citizen is granted. They have equal rights to practice religion as anyone else in the country, they have just as much opportunity to grow and prosper in their personal and professional lives as any other American, and they have access to the legal system's protection from discrimination or domestic abuse, etc.,... In the middle east, more and more women are gaining rights there as well, with more women being trained to fight for their individual communities' causes, and more freedom of choice regarding the religious requirements to wear the hijad or allow their husbands to have multiple wives, yet of course it is easier here as there is less daily bombing and other atrocities, and more protection from violence than the media might allude to nowadays... I think I've got plenty to go on with that... Goal- done by Tuesday night, revised and completed to turn in by Wednesday. I got an A- on the last one!
I just freakin' hope that one of these days soon dammit, my Life in the Universe textbook will arrive. I can't believe I spent extra money on "expedited shipping" to have it still not here a month and a half later. Sheesh. Lame.
And, in other parts of La La Land- I sent a message to Adam the other day regarding my busted right hand mirror, and hopped into the Zephyr-Zone for a second, to find out that a well-known Bay Area rider had been misisng and ended up sending her bike and herself off a cliff last week... Bummer. The website he'd set up was a treat- the photo of the ocean from between the fallen bike's handlebars, the messages from friends and family... Even though I didn't know her, the photo of the turn-out where her helmet and gloves were found and the red mark where her body and bike was found hundreds of feet below really made me ... I dunno, sick to my stomach, I suppose....
I just have to be safe. Really really careful and conscious. And, if either myself or anyone I really care about gets to that point of reeling ourselves of a cliff, by gosh, we better be sure of it, and do it well... At this point in my life when I really know nothing else but the fact that I'm in love and living a great life in a foggy city, I can only hope for the best and send out my love to those who need it, all over the goddamn planet.
Current mood: Shucks.
Current music: "Counting off the Days" by ...And you will know us by the trail of dead - The secret of Elana's tomb.
23 September 2005
insufficient gear
I wouldn't reccommend this- but it's been done before- when a gal decides to go for a ride in a mini skirt and stilettos....
..
At least she's got knee protection!
This is my roomie- she's written an article for a newspaper: check Urban Moto to find out where to pick up the next issue and see her words n' my photos published!
Whee.
..
At least she's got knee protection!
This is my roomie- she's written an article for a newspaper: check Urban Moto to find out where to pick up the next issue and see her words n' my photos published!
Whee.
hrm
Someone has to tell me what they think of the background- I wanted something kinda nondescript but I haven't seen how it looks in someone else's browser... Plus I can't figure out how to get the sidebar to move over a bit. Oh well...
Actually I think it's pretty rad. I like what random diffusion on the gif-ness did to it.
I don't really want to go to the sinner's ball tonight but I guess I should .. I said I would. ack.
Actually I think it's pretty rad. I like what random diffusion on the gif-ness did to it.
I don't really want to go to the sinner's ball tonight but I guess I should .. I said I would. ack.
21 September 2005
18 September 2005
a sunday full of sun
whazzaaaa
Today I woke up late and looked out the window and saw blue sky- thought to myself, "holy crap, this is probably one of the last days this season I'll get to see blue sky on this side of town" and got my ass out of bed, tossed my homework in my bag, and straddled my momo, and zoomed off down Sunset Highway to golden gate park. There I laid down on the grass and read, then hopped back on my momo and zipped on down to Ocean Beach and spread out in the sand... then I got some coffee and the fog started to roll in... And now I'm home...
What'd you do today?
Today I woke up late and looked out the window and saw blue sky- thought to myself, "holy crap, this is probably one of the last days this season I'll get to see blue sky on this side of town" and got my ass out of bed, tossed my homework in my bag, and straddled my momo, and zoomed off down Sunset Highway to golden gate park. There I laid down on the grass and read, then hopped back on my momo and zipped on down to Ocean Beach and spread out in the sand... then I got some coffee and the fog started to roll in... And now I'm home...
What'd you do today?
17 September 2005
13 September 2005
11 September 2005
this is so f'in stupid.
I can't believe I'm so braindead with this stupid paper. I can't believe that teacher lady's making us write a paper, and read two chapters in the text for the same day. Gohd. I wonder if it's really a bad idea for me to ride to TJ's on the zeph or if I should ride to get my truck ... or if that's just silly. I know I want to get some more in but is today really the day to do it? If I'm going to do it I've got to do it now, and now is obviously not going to happen so the answer is obviously no. Gee whiz I sure talked myself right outta that one, din I. Bah. I'll end up riding to school tomorrow and then straight to my truck afterwards, order tires early ass in the morning and a chain, or wait till the afternoon to do it, KC looks like a place to check out, their site said they have over 1000 tires in stock... Yeah, I'll call them in the morning and see what they have in stock. Or get them to order it. F Mission. They can kiss my ass.
Oh yeah, happy 4 years since 9/11.
Anyway, so I guess I'll just do some more reading, save the rest of the paper for later, and wonder where the hell Greenie went- after I switched out my bed he's nowhere to be found. Damn, I hate misplacing shit.
Current mood: Fuckawf. Sometimes being female just SUCKS beyond belief. (yes it's that time)
Current music: Some classical radio stream kaka.
Oh yeah, happy 4 years since 9/11.
Anyway, so I guess I'll just do some more reading, save the rest of the paper for later, and wonder where the hell Greenie went- after I switched out my bed he's nowhere to be found. Damn, I hate misplacing shit.
Current mood: Fuckawf. Sometimes being female just SUCKS beyond belief. (yes it's that time)
Current music: Some classical radio stream kaka.
10 September 2005
I never thought I'd see the day...
Here she is! My Zephyr 550- I never thought I'd see the day when I could call something so old and so unique my own, ... ha ha... She's a beaut! A few more things on the list to do, and then she'll be boomin! It's so hard to write a paper today when there's this gorgeous being staring at me through the window... Sigh... And the sun, oh the sun! Shining so brightly and me, stuck inside with stupid things called responsibility... ick.
Thanx to Adam for helping sus out the vacuum deal... she does run a bit stronger without all the emissions stuff. Now, it's just fundamentals... Ok, food. Paper. Really.
I swear.
Whee!
09 September 2005
craigslist is easy
So in one successful day, I found a bed, (comfy as ever), got rid of my futon, and that hideous camper shell. Sparky is now back to his roots of being a cool ol' skool truck when EFI was a wanted feature, he proudly displays it and prances free of ugly white nasty crap on his back...
And, despite the feathers poking me in the back and my shoulder, it was extrememly difficult to get out of bed this morning, what with the comfort factor of my sleeping arrangements now increased exponentially.
And, Ivey finally called me and woke me up today, he got married back in May, punk- I wish he hadn't- she's a psycholunatic with homicidal tendencies, and I hope and pray that she doesn't hurt him any more... at least he was able to make his own wise decision to make the long distance call from his work to check in, and let me know he's alive...
Last night's show was cool, I'm glad Josh hooked it up, went to the Mission to Cy's place and we took his vfr to the show, where they used tubas, and a saw, and old tapes, and plastic lambs to play an entertaining performance... A little bit too "rocky" for me but it was neat. Would have rathered been at the burning of Zozo, but my dad sent me phone pics so I felt like I was kinda there in spirit...
Now, to go finish fixin up the Zeph.
And, despite the feathers poking me in the back and my shoulder, it was extrememly difficult to get out of bed this morning, what with the comfort factor of my sleeping arrangements now increased exponentially.
And, Ivey finally called me and woke me up today, he got married back in May, punk- I wish he hadn't- she's a psycholunatic with homicidal tendencies, and I hope and pray that she doesn't hurt him any more... at least he was able to make his own wise decision to make the long distance call from his work to check in, and let me know he's alive...
Last night's show was cool, I'm glad Josh hooked it up, went to the Mission to Cy's place and we took his vfr to the show, where they used tubas, and a saw, and old tapes, and plastic lambs to play an entertaining performance... A little bit too "rocky" for me but it was neat. Would have rathered been at the burning of Zozo, but my dad sent me phone pics so I felt like I was kinda there in spirit...
Now, to go finish fixin up the Zeph.
04 September 2005
Mrowr
Foggy Sunday.
I'm here at Josh's house kitty sittin' and trying to be in a different eviron that I hoped would help me study more effectively, but I felt the need to do some writing before cracking the books and getting down to it... Sleeping in his bed makes me really want to get rid of my futon and find a good full mattress and box spring, I'm sick of the sag and the hardness, and think that it's about time I grow up and break off for comfort and health. It seems that there are quite a few beds either being given away, in an unknown condition, of course, or being sold used for a relatively decent price, again in a somewhat unknown condition...
So this morning I woke up to screaming children and barking dogs, and decided to make some cafe, which I rarely drink but felt the need, for some reason my dreams were again full of random things like working at the Staff and selling little old ladies matches for 3 cents, and couldn't find the coffee filters for the life of me. So, I walked up 24th to Mission and found a taqueria where I got a burrito, then stopped in a donut shop and got the worst coffee I've ever tasted. I sipped on it on my way back to Josh's and heard very little English on my way, then got back here and realized that there is a pantry after all... Lo and behold, the coffee filters- in a taped up box marked K - 07/03/03. They date everything in the cupboard and fridge... Then I proceeded to make some more coffee, and realized that the machine wasn't dripping, and the whole upperhalf was just filling up and up and soaking and soaking, good thing I didn't fill up more than 3 cups of water, otherwise I would've had a mess on my hands, that's for sure... then I realized I could "milk" it, in effect, and got some nice strong coffee, finally...
And now, off to do some more reading up on transgender issues, stress management, which I could use a lot of at this point, and astronomy... I wish I could understand what the hell my teacher was saying, damn accent makes things difficult. Argh...
Current mood: a tad stressed, but ok... relaxing, anyhow... oh yeah, have I mentioned that coffee makes me absoulutely NUTS?
Current music: "The Acceptance Of Absolute Negation" by Six Organs of Admittance - For Octavio Paz
I'm here at Josh's house kitty sittin' and trying to be in a different eviron that I hoped would help me study more effectively, but I felt the need to do some writing before cracking the books and getting down to it... Sleeping in his bed makes me really want to get rid of my futon and find a good full mattress and box spring, I'm sick of the sag and the hardness, and think that it's about time I grow up and break off for comfort and health. It seems that there are quite a few beds either being given away, in an unknown condition, of course, or being sold used for a relatively decent price, again in a somewhat unknown condition...
So this morning I woke up to screaming children and barking dogs, and decided to make some cafe, which I rarely drink but felt the need, for some reason my dreams were again full of random things like working at the Staff and selling little old ladies matches for 3 cents, and couldn't find the coffee filters for the life of me. So, I walked up 24th to Mission and found a taqueria where I got a burrito, then stopped in a donut shop and got the worst coffee I've ever tasted. I sipped on it on my way back to Josh's and heard very little English on my way, then got back here and realized that there is a pantry after all... Lo and behold, the coffee filters- in a taped up box marked K - 07/03/03. They date everything in the cupboard and fridge... Then I proceeded to make some more coffee, and realized that the machine wasn't dripping, and the whole upperhalf was just filling up and up and soaking and soaking, good thing I didn't fill up more than 3 cups of water, otherwise I would've had a mess on my hands, that's for sure... then I realized I could "milk" it, in effect, and got some nice strong coffee, finally...
And now, off to do some more reading up on transgender issues, stress management, which I could use a lot of at this point, and astronomy... I wish I could understand what the hell my teacher was saying, damn accent makes things difficult. Argh...
Current mood: a tad stressed, but ok... relaxing, anyhow... oh yeah, have I mentioned that coffee makes me absoulutely NUTS?
Current music: "The Acceptance Of Absolute Negation" by Six Organs of Admittance - For Octavio Paz
03 September 2005
zozo
I SO WISH I COULD GO this year... it's next week... 'doh well... I'm sure my dad will call me from the fire station, of course...
01 September 2005
- momo
- neat hallway
- amy craazy
- johan 25 August 2005
OWIE!
Hewoo... I was just washing my windows, started on the one in the middle- it was easy, popped the screen out, spritzed with windex, rubbadub with a squeegee, and then I proceeded to step outside and balance on the shed that is right under my windows, when I realized that it's been taken over by a colony of bees... So I figured, y'know me, I'm not spooked by a bunch of bees, whatever, just don't step on them or spray them with windex, and it'll only take me a minute, I'll be out of their way faster than you can say "bzz"... anyway, all is good and I'm almost done, crawling back into my room, when BAZAAM I feel it, on my armpit- a little sting, and look down and this lil' guy is hanging onto me wit his lil stinger with all his might... owch. My mind is overtaken my memories of being five years old and suckin' on a popsicle and being attacked by a swarm of bees... I remember not being afraid at all, just pissed of that this little freakin' thing could pack such a punch... Anyway, I went to the bathroom and swabbed some hydrogen peroxide on it, and tried to find the little stinger, but seeing as it's on my armpit it's a bit difficult to discern whether that little black thing sticking out is the bee's weapon or just one of my pit hairs... ick. Anyway, it's nice n' swollen and red and throbby but I don't think I really have anything to worry about, just that I don't have anything else to stand on outside to get that one foot wide patch of window that I can't reach from the inside. So, my windows are... mostly clean... but a lot better than they were before... Yeah. Word.
23 August 2005
F the MAN
Wow. This pisses me off to no end. Dammit.
BULL
Some firsthanded accounts...
Here's a video of it.
I dunno, I guess Utah is the kind of state to seriously crack down on stuff like this, and if full out armored gear is the only way to do it- we are surely headed for a facist state when it comes to Utah and the "War on Drugs"...
pfft.
BULL
Some firsthanded accounts...
Here's a video of it.
I dunno, I guess Utah is the kind of state to seriously crack down on stuff like this, and if full out armored gear is the only way to do it- we are surely headed for a facist state when it comes to Utah and the "War on Drugs"...
pfft.
18 August 2005
15 August 2005
haha
What a foggy day.
I'm wondering what to do about this job- I know that I took some work with the Union before hearing back from the Mime troupe, but I have to do what I confirmed, and the union gig is, of course, going to be more money, but less time. And I don't know what they're thinking for a "small stipend" but at 40 hours a week plus school, I'm not sure if it really is a good idea. But I would be getting back into the swing of theatre, a touring show, making local contacts, which would be great. So I'll do it for sure, if they say it's okay that I miss those two shows this week, if they can manage. Other than that things are cherry.
They're doing some odd construction on the street down there, and there is a family of blonde kids coming out of the soccer shop, as I kill time being hungry and waiting for the UPS guy, crossing my fingers that I'll find this work that I need, and it'll all work out just fine. The other day when my buddy Steven came up and we went to Naan n' Curry in the Haight I shot this photo of the poster on the wall above our table: it cracked me up!
Look a little closer, and tell me if this isn't hillarious to you too, or if I'm just too freakin simple minded and am the only one who finds the fact that this poster was printed in mass quantities and probably is stuck up in little restaurants and establishments all over the place... It makes me want to get a small digital camera to keep in my pocket so that I can snap quality shots (other than my pooey phone) and not have to lug around my biggass d70 with me, wherever I go... I can't wait until they figure out a way to install a 14 megapixel camera and huge zoom lens that is really the size of nothing into my brain so I can just plug the firewire cable directly into my brain from a printer and babam, just like that my mind's eye will be a camera and then I can just control the exposure and stuff with my thoughts and not have to fumble with tripods and cameras the size of a keg.
Ah, technology, aren't you advancing quick enough? I think not...
I'm wondering what to do about this job- I know that I took some work with the Union before hearing back from the Mime troupe, but I have to do what I confirmed, and the union gig is, of course, going to be more money, but less time. And I don't know what they're thinking for a "small stipend" but at 40 hours a week plus school, I'm not sure if it really is a good idea. But I would be getting back into the swing of theatre, a touring show, making local contacts, which would be great. So I'll do it for sure, if they say it's okay that I miss those two shows this week, if they can manage. Other than that things are cherry.
They're doing some odd construction on the street down there, and there is a family of blonde kids coming out of the soccer shop, as I kill time being hungry and waiting for the UPS guy, crossing my fingers that I'll find this work that I need, and it'll all work out just fine. The other day when my buddy Steven came up and we went to Naan n' Curry in the Haight I shot this photo of the poster on the wall above our table: it cracked me up!
Look a little closer, and tell me if this isn't hillarious to you too, or if I'm just too freakin simple minded and am the only one who finds the fact that this poster was printed in mass quantities and probably is stuck up in little restaurants and establishments all over the place... It makes me want to get a small digital camera to keep in my pocket so that I can snap quality shots (other than my pooey phone) and not have to lug around my biggass d70 with me, wherever I go... I can't wait until they figure out a way to install a 14 megapixel camera and huge zoom lens that is really the size of nothing into my brain so I can just plug the firewire cable directly into my brain from a printer and babam, just like that my mind's eye will be a camera and then I can just control the exposure and stuff with my thoughts and not have to fumble with tripods and cameras the size of a keg. Ah, technology, aren't you advancing quick enough? I think not...
14 August 2005
What the.?
Butt paste?
This is pretty rad. I can send photos I snap with my phone to my blog. Despite the fact that it sends me text messages when it's done, it's pretty freakin cool. Gotta love techy shite like this, it's fun stuff.
12 August 2005
nerves...
I never realized that finding a house could be so easy, but picking out an old beat up still reliable and running motorcycle could be so freakin' hard. I guess when it comes to where I sleep and who I spend my life with I'm wide open and first come, first serve, but when it comes to chosing what to sit on and buzz around the city, I'm picky as hell. Damn.
I guess I've narrowed it down to pretty much Nighthawks or Yamaha Radian, even though I've never looked at a Radian. I tried out the cb-1 but couldn't dig the agressive sporty riding position, and got a bit freaked, and I'm assuming that a Suzuki gs500e would be the same kind of deal. They seem like great starting bikes but maybe... I'll get over it and just deal with my feet not being able to flat foot regularly...
Well, I'm really in no hurry anyhow. Insurance is going to be another thing to think about and as if SF isn't expensive enough.
Gawd.
Aiight, I'm going to just huff it up Ocean and get a list of the books I need, and see what prices they're asking. Ugh. School. Yay.
I guess I've narrowed it down to pretty much Nighthawks or Yamaha Radian, even though I've never looked at a Radian. I tried out the cb-1 but couldn't dig the agressive sporty riding position, and got a bit freaked, and I'm assuming that a Suzuki gs500e would be the same kind of deal. They seem like great starting bikes but maybe... I'll get over it and just deal with my feet not being able to flat foot regularly...
Well, I'm really in no hurry anyhow. Insurance is going to be another thing to think about and as if SF isn't expensive enough.
Gawd.
Aiight, I'm going to just huff it up Ocean and get a list of the books I need, and see what prices they're asking. Ugh. School. Yay.
05 August 2005
04 August 2005
23
Ah, what a day to turn 23! Another year, another number, another age... time passses by and another life to live... Yay for soap operas and YAY for public transportation. So last night we went to Scuderia and got me a niiiice helmet, and then went to the Zeitgeist and had a brew and some bbq, then went to the Noc Noc and hung out for a while with some Chimay and Boont- two of the best beverages in existence. It was good to see Josher and hang out with the boyz from the Zeitgeist, and I think I fixed my website for IE and windows users this morning, after realizing that I can't sit on my ass and let it be frustrating forever... I had to accept the fact that half the planet uses the consumer grade shitty browsers that ms makes, so get on with life and use some cool script to do the flash embed which works fine. Not sure what happens when someone doesn't have the latest version of flash, but we'll see...
So then, we came back to irving street and passed out, unfortunately I neglected to take any precaution and woke up with a bit of a doosie of a headache, not surprising... but with some birthday breakfast in bed and some caffiene and excedrin, maybe later on during the day it'll clear up...
Then, I'm all set with wires and my helmet and some chick's sunglasses since I must have left mine in the truck, which is now in San Jose, I close the gate and stand outside blank and numb-faced realizing that my truck is at home, across town, and Rick just left, and UGH. I don't want to take the bus home on my birthday! Eek. I knew that I wanted to go home last night, but was so buzzed at that point that it didn't matter to me, so ended up stranding myself because I didn't think ahead. Oh well, it's about time that I learn the best and fastest way to get on the Muni from his house to mine... I didn't really want to call Amy or Jan since they were either both working or whateveh- so I called the other Jeff and roped him into hanging out with me and driving me places. Word. I figure it's much better to have company on my bday than to take the bus all over and be pissed that I didn't get a ride home this morning. Yeah...
So, that's what's going on... just chillin and waiting for godot. THen maybe we'll go to the Moma and take some photos around town, or sumthin' - maybe I ought to get some cashish and buy that apple wireless card from the craigslist guy, or wire up my tower at home since comcast busted my ass... sigh.
hmm
23
what's next?
So then, we came back to irving street and passed out, unfortunately I neglected to take any precaution and woke up with a bit of a doosie of a headache, not surprising... but with some birthday breakfast in bed and some caffiene and excedrin, maybe later on during the day it'll clear up...
Then, I'm all set with wires and my helmet and some chick's sunglasses since I must have left mine in the truck, which is now in San Jose, I close the gate and stand outside blank and numb-faced realizing that my truck is at home, across town, and Rick just left, and UGH. I don't want to take the bus home on my birthday! Eek. I knew that I wanted to go home last night, but was so buzzed at that point that it didn't matter to me, so ended up stranding myself because I didn't think ahead. Oh well, it's about time that I learn the best and fastest way to get on the Muni from his house to mine... I didn't really want to call Amy or Jan since they were either both working or whateveh- so I called the other Jeff and roped him into hanging out with me and driving me places. Word. I figure it's much better to have company on my bday than to take the bus all over and be pissed that I didn't get a ride home this morning. Yeah...
So, that's what's going on... just chillin and waiting for godot. THen maybe we'll go to the Moma and take some photos around town, or sumthin' - maybe I ought to get some cashish and buy that apple wireless card from the craigslist guy, or wire up my tower at home since comcast busted my ass... sigh.
hmm
23
what's next?
01 August 2005
30 July 2005
phew
So the bulk of the moving is DONE! Yay, new house, new roomates, new life, leaving old SC behind indefinitely...
I posted a few pics here:
img taxi
I love moving, wish I could do it every day... ugh. I sent out a text message to people last night saying to come over tonight to say bye to me, but haha I'm not home... and I kind of doubt that any of them will really come by anyway- Jesse and Chris called, but everyone else, I'm thinkin it was just too late notice- I'll just have to invite them all up for my bday besides...
I posted a few pics here:
img taxi
I love moving, wish I could do it every day... ugh. I sent out a text message to people last night saying to come over tonight to say bye to me, but haha I'm not home... and I kind of doubt that any of them will really come by anyway- Jesse and Chris called, but everyone else, I'm thinkin it was just too late notice- I'll just have to invite them all up for my bday besides...
22 July 2005
ok this is WIERD
Hi, I'm having strange issues.
I'm on a PowerMac g4 Quicksilver 733mhz 1.1g RAM with a recent install of os 10.4.2
When I go to the apple menu and select "About this Mac" nothing happens. Nada, zilch.
When I go to "Shut Down..." and "Restart..." nothing happens. Nada, zilch.
"Log Out..." does't work either. Neither does "Force Quit..."
I had to shut down my computer using Quicksilver. I quit a hanging app through Activity Monitor.
I don't know any Terminal commands to do the same things.
I repaired permissions and checked the console for anything obvious, but I don't know what I'm doing. It's not like I really NEED that information, but it's kindof odd that I can't tell my computer to turn itself off the way I'm supposed to...
Any suggestions, friends?
I'm on a PowerMac g4 Quicksilver 733mhz 1.1g RAM with a recent install of os 10.4.2
When I go to the apple menu and select "About this Mac" nothing happens. Nada, zilch.
When I go to "Shut Down..." and "Restart..." nothing happens. Nada, zilch.
"Log Out..." does't work either. Neither does "Force Quit..."
I had to shut down my computer using Quicksilver. I quit a hanging app through Activity Monitor.
I don't know any Terminal commands to do the same things.
I repaired permissions and checked the console for anything obvious, but I don't know what I'm doing. It's not like I really NEED that information, but it's kindof odd that I can't tell my computer to turn itself off the way I'm supposed to...
Any suggestions, friends?
new pfone
It's pretty cool. Hopefully it won't drop calls like that other POS did. It takes video too. Woo hoo.
I'm grateful to the customer service people in Toronto or Tampa or Oklahoma City or wherever they are for dealing with unsatisfied people like me, but it was easy and they didn't give me hell for replacing the replacement phone, and they upgraded it for free which was nice of them... Anyway... things are good, I have steak to eat, not sure whether I should cook it now for a late afternoon dunch or lupper, or if I should save it for dinner... it's HOT. I say salad then some math, maybe in the sun, come back and cook like mad. Yea yea, that's it... yea !!!
Current mood: Chillin, and thinkin' bout food...
Current music: RabbitRadio it's a good bunny widget...
I'm grateful to the customer service people in Toronto or Tampa or Oklahoma City or wherever they are for dealing with unsatisfied people like me, but it was easy and they didn't give me hell for replacing the replacement phone, and they upgraded it for free which was nice of them... Anyway... things are good, I have steak to eat, not sure whether I should cook it now for a late afternoon dunch or lupper, or if I should save it for dinner... it's HOT. I say salad then some math, maybe in the sun, come back and cook like mad. Yea yea, that's it... yea !!! Current mood: Chillin, and thinkin' bout food...
Current music: RabbitRadio it's a good bunny widget...
21 July 2005
upgrade!
wow!! I am swamped by Tiger....
It's like a new computer!
Dvd's, widgets, spotlight, I'm in love...
Gawrsh!
It's like a new computer!
Dvd's, widgets, spotlight, I'm in love...
Gawrsh!
19 July 2005
floccinaucinihilipilification
Hargin farg! I didn't realize that when you copy something to your clpboard and then you log out and log back in, poof it's gone and your clipboard's empty... geez that shoud've made sense before! but that's why we have Quicksilver...
For some reason when I looked up "floccinoccinhilipilification" in Sherlock, nothing came up. Maybe it's not such a handy tool after all... although it is kind of neat to just click movies and all the movies come up. I like the idea- very mac.
Anyway I've been on even more of a customizing kick lately, adding a little personalization to my login-background picture, changing it from the normal aqua blue thingamadoo- which is pretty neat, and I was getting tired of it, that's for sure... I also added some text string to the login panel but I don't think it worked, at least not the way I was told it would... And now, when I go: Apple: About this mac: THIS is what you get!
I'm such a freakin' dork. I've been having this minor anxiety freak out about what I'm going to do once I get to SF and have to really get to the nitty gritty and decide what to major in. With all my geekness in the Mac lately, you'd think that I ought to go into some kind of computer field and work designing or maintaining or something, but I'm not quite the type... well, that's not exactly true, but I'd really have to find a niche and get really good at it, because in SF and in my generation, there are MILLIONS of youngstas just like me out there- with a little bit of skill that blows away some folk, but lack of major skill and I'm completely blown away by other folk...
I guess the bottom line is I really need to pick back up on my photography and Photoshop and take more classes there, I've been seeing ads for partime Photoshop peope helping out other professional photographers on craigslist, and I do know that I don't want to stick to union shit and break myself doing stuff like that forever... I'm kindof over the live production gigs. That is, until I find something that is really interesting and I'm into and that pays me well.
Ick. Ha, some asshole just kicked his soccer ball into someone's car and its alarm is going off... idiot. floccinaucinihilipilification I feel like I've been doing an awful lot of it as of late, towards myself and my decisions, what with my life changing so much and I don't exactly know in what direction... But, as I once learned from who-knows-where and tried at once point or another to explain to my father, I don't like to fill my life with making "decisions" as having to "decide" is committing another "-cide," i.e. suicide, genocide, homicide... So, rather, I chose. And to make a choice, I can live with. So can I live with mistakes. Wheras to decide, is to kill, which is a lot harder to live with, seeing as, well, it's dead.
Roger that.
For some reason when I looked up "floccinoccinhilipilification" in Sherlock, nothing came up. Maybe it's not such a handy tool after all... although it is kind of neat to just click movies and all the movies come up. I like the idea- very mac.
Anyway I've been on even more of a customizing kick lately, adding a little personalization to my login-background picture, changing it from the normal aqua blue thingamadoo- which is pretty neat, and I was getting tired of it, that's for sure... I also added some text string to the login panel but I don't think it worked, at least not the way I was told it would... And now, when I go: Apple: About this mac: THIS is what you get!
I'm such a freakin' dork. I've been having this minor anxiety freak out about what I'm going to do once I get to SF and have to really get to the nitty gritty and decide what to major in. With all my geekness in the Mac lately, you'd think that I ought to go into some kind of computer field and work designing or maintaining or something, but I'm not quite the type... well, that's not exactly true, but I'd really have to find a niche and get really good at it, because in SF and in my generation, there are MILLIONS of youngstas just like me out there- with a little bit of skill that blows away some folk, but lack of major skill and I'm completely blown away by other folk... I guess the bottom line is I really need to pick back up on my photography and Photoshop and take more classes there, I've been seeing ads for partime Photoshop peope helping out other professional photographers on craigslist, and I do know that I don't want to stick to union shit and break myself doing stuff like that forever... I'm kindof over the live production gigs. That is, until I find something that is really interesting and I'm into and that pays me well.
Ick. Ha, some asshole just kicked his soccer ball into someone's car and its alarm is going off... idiot. floccinaucinihilipilification I feel like I've been doing an awful lot of it as of late, towards myself and my decisions, what with my life changing so much and I don't exactly know in what direction... But, as I once learned from who-knows-where and tried at once point or another to explain to my father, I don't like to fill my life with making "decisions" as having to "decide" is committing another "-cide," i.e. suicide, genocide, homicide... So, rather, I chose. And to make a choice, I can live with. So can I live with mistakes. Wheras to decide, is to kill, which is a lot harder to live with, seeing as, well, it's dead.
Roger that.
18 July 2005
Monday is a four letter word...
Wellps! Some good things happened today, and I don't believe anything poopy has happened- firstly, got up rather early, couldn't sleep too well last night for some reason... Then, went to skool- found out that I'll be able to take my final early, Monday afternoon after the 2nd exam, to be over and done with summer school three days earlier, which will allow for faster moving, and J can help me then since it'll be during the week... woot.
Then I came home and did some more packing- got the garage sale stuff in a big pile, books in a box, installed some more memory into my Mac and played around in flash testing out memory and making the thumbnails in my gallery black... I hope that it'll detect flash now and load on other computers- for some reason it works fine here at home, but reloading on a different machine hasn't brought up anything, while Jeffey's page worked fine. I don't get it. Is it worth it to detect a flash version? I mean... I guess a lot of people don't know what they're doing when it comes to whatever flash version player they have, but are those the kind of people that are going to stumble upon my page? I dunno... I guess.
Anyway, I was thinking more about whether to get a brand new bike or not- and I still think HELL NO, I'll feel like such a dumbass and like I wasted thousands of dollars if I drop it. Which, everybody says, will happen. I may not mean to, but it could, so get something shitty until I run it into the ground learning and developing my skillz- yeah.
Word. Feels good to get things going...
7-8 days until I'm moving! Oh god that's so soon...
... crap...
I just bought this dvd drive which will seriously do me a good upgrade with tiger, and memory, and it's like I'll have a new computer on the move! Good job, Julian, for helping convince me to just f*it and go for the gold... it's still cheaper to upgrade this one than get a new machine...
If only they'd ship fast enough!
Then I came home and did some more packing- got the garage sale stuff in a big pile, books in a box, installed some more memory into my Mac and played around in flash testing out memory and making the thumbnails in my gallery black... I hope that it'll detect flash now and load on other computers- for some reason it works fine here at home, but reloading on a different machine hasn't brought up anything, while Jeffey's page worked fine. I don't get it. Is it worth it to detect a flash version? I mean... I guess a lot of people don't know what they're doing when it comes to whatever flash version player they have, but are those the kind of people that are going to stumble upon my page? I dunno... I guess.
Anyway, I was thinking more about whether to get a brand new bike or not- and I still think HELL NO, I'll feel like such a dumbass and like I wasted thousands of dollars if I drop it. Which, everybody says, will happen. I may not mean to, but it could, so get something shitty until I run it into the ground learning and developing my skillz- yeah.
Word. Feels good to get things going...
7-8 days until I'm moving! Oh god that's so soon...
... crap...
I just bought this dvd drive which will seriously do me a good upgrade with tiger, and memory, and it's like I'll have a new computer on the move! Good job, Julian, for helping convince me to just f*it and go for the gold... it's still cheaper to upgrade this one than get a new machine...
If only they'd ship fast enough!
17 July 2005
finky steet
Hewooo!
I'm so pooped I could fall over. Wheeoops I just did! UGH.
It's so hard to motivate myself to finish up my math homework, but I have to at least study the pre-quiz and get ready for the test tomorrow. I'm so grateful to Erin for taking on the brunt of the 3rd group project thingamagig- I just lost it this weekend and was completely involved in counterweighing and press left, go left- clutch brake shift! I PASSED! Yippereeedoodaddiddydiddaaaay!
I love this customizing themes thingy! Check it out: -- >
Phew.
I'm so pooped I could fall over. Wheeoops I just did! UGH.
It's so hard to motivate myself to finish up my math homework, but I have to at least study the pre-quiz and get ready for the test tomorrow. I'm so grateful to Erin for taking on the brunt of the 3rd group project thingamagig- I just lost it this weekend and was completely involved in counterweighing and press left, go left- clutch brake shift! I PASSED! Yippereeedoodaddiddydiddaaaay!
I love this customizing themes thingy! Check it out: -- >
Phew.
11 July 2005
aaaaaa
Sigh...
I had a good day. Now I feel ill, though... not sure if that dinner was all that I'd made it up to be, but it filled me up and tasted pretty darn good. It sure was pretty healthy too, only now my tummy feels iffy.
Anyway, it's so hard to do math. Not that it's hard math, it's just tedious. Argh.
And I can't find that old school looking Panasonic car stereo system with the audio-gages and things on the web, I lost it. See what happens when you don't bookmark! Argh again.
Ok.
Math.
I had a good day. Now I feel ill, though... not sure if that dinner was all that I'd made it up to be, but it filled me up and tasted pretty darn good. It sure was pretty healthy too, only now my tummy feels iffy.
Anyway, it's so hard to do math. Not that it's hard math, it's just tedious. Argh.
And I can't find that old school looking Panasonic car stereo system with the audio-gages and things on the web, I lost it. See what happens when you don't bookmark! Argh again.
Ok.
Math.
09 July 2005
Beach Bummin
People really love our California beaches, don't they: I can't fucking believe people who blatantly trash the beach. FUCKERS.
We went to Panther beach again, my fave- although I was told it was actually Greyhound beach and I don't know which to believe... Regardless, it was yet again another fine beach outing- with old friends from NM and the wind in my salty hair and not a care in the world... Climbing up to the top of the big rock in the ocean was again an exhilarating experience, the feel of the strong wind blowing up the side of the rock as you're clinging on to pieces that could easily fall off without warning, I love it... and watching "time" in the rock as you climb higher, with my heavy bag and shoes knocking together... I totally want to make sweet sweet luv up there, sometime- sheltered from the wind and any normal tourists- only those ballsy enough make it up to the top of that crag, so to be caught in the act would be rare- but romantic... One of these days... mwa ha ha ha ha...
So, that was yesterday- a cool day. Today is hot again, I figured I'd go for a ride and come back and pack some more, finish up the AIDS project for math...
w00t.
We went to Panther beach again, my fave- although I was told it was actually Greyhound beach and I don't know which to believe... Regardless, it was yet again another fine beach outing- with old friends from NM and the wind in my salty hair and not a care in the world... Climbing up to the top of the big rock in the ocean was again an exhilarating experience, the feel of the strong wind blowing up the side of the rock as you're clinging on to pieces that could easily fall off without warning, I love it... and watching "time" in the rock as you climb higher, with my heavy bag and shoes knocking together... I totally want to make sweet sweet luv up there, sometime- sheltered from the wind and any normal tourists- only those ballsy enough make it up to the top of that crag, so to be caught in the act would be rare- but romantic... One of these days... mwa ha ha ha ha...
So, that was yesterday- a cool day. Today is hot again, I figured I'd go for a ride and come back and pack some more, finish up the AIDS project for math...
w00t.
07 July 2005
London, baby....
Hm, I sure hope that Mary and her brothers and the boys are okay. I hope I hear from them somehow soon. That would just BLOW if they had some wacky experience and were like ... right there, or had their legs blown off or something. ... Sigh.
(wish 'em luck)
et phone home
But GOD DAMN IT! I hate it when stuff like this happens. Stupid stupid stupid stupid. Now everyone is going to go spewing with anti-terrorism mumbo jumbo, and sit on thier asses and dip shit in ranch dressing, and now we will never get the fuck out of Iraq, because people will STILL buy that we are there to fight against terrorism. AGGHHHH!!! It makes me so angry. -ww.
(wish 'em luck)
et phone home
04 July 2005
Sigh...
Word. What a day. Traffic was HELL. Why in the world does everyone really want to go bbq at the beach in Santa Cruz together, all at the same time, get smoked out and go deaf after all the stupid fireworks? For some reason, I hate the fourth of July. I always have. It's a stupid holiday- America's the only country that is so egotistical to celebrate its so called independence by blowing shit up. What a lazy fucking disgusting excuse to get fucked up and fuck. Right on. Dammit.
Website bullshit. I've been thinking whether ethically I should contact that guy whose desktop image thing I based by background image off of and tell him I altered it and made it mine for stillsight, and also whether it's right of me to use the d70 icons that some guy made for the buttons too- or whether they both respectively knew that as they were putting their art out on the internet to be used as icons and as desktop images if they knew that artists we are all, so therefore we'd use and maniuplate and change and, I'm obviously not profiting from it, but I suppose I'd ought to give some kind of credit.
Well, here it is. And I'll put it in the source of my site and hopefully then my concious will ease, and I won't get sued or something stupid.
Credit to Plasvics at destopimage.com for the camera, 1941.
Credit to Joe Schlitzer for the d70 icons.
Hazaa.
Website bullshit. I've been thinking whether ethically I should contact that guy whose desktop image thing I based by background image off of and tell him I altered it and made it mine for stillsight, and also whether it's right of me to use the d70 icons that some guy made for the buttons too- or whether they both respectively knew that as they were putting their art out on the internet to be used as icons and as desktop images if they knew that artists we are all, so therefore we'd use and maniuplate and change and, I'm obviously not profiting from it, but I suppose I'd ought to give some kind of credit.
Well, here it is. And I'll put it in the source of my site and hopefully then my concious will ease, and I won't get sued or something stupid.
Credit to Plasvics at destopimage.com for the camera, 1941.
Credit to Joe Schlitzer for the d70 icons.
Hazaa.
28 June 2005
breakthru
Current mood: Is the word "complacent" effective in describing totally stiff from sitting in this chair all afternoon?
Current music: I think it's the One AM Radio thing from 3hive. When I imported it it only called it "Track 03" like I love it to...
So, a lot of good things have happened today... first off, I slept in a little and still managed to make it to math on time... but they didn't take the recycling, I guess because I put it on the wrong side of the street, but I've done that before, and they've taken it. Maybe it was too stuffed. Maybe they just didn' see it. Oh well...
Then at math, found out that Erin Mac and I got 60 out of 50 on our project and I've got 139 points out of 100, so I'd be surprised if I got anything but an A. Granted it is really hard to stay in those hard ass chairs all morning, but at least he's amusing. The t-shirt today said "5 out of 4 people have a problem with fractions."
Then, got some food from TJ's with Erin's hook up, then came home to my new fancy schmancy wireless ipod remote, which is water resistant, works 150ft away and through walls! Stoked. And, it doesn't look like it needs replacement batteries at all.. w00t!
Then, I got to the nitty gritty and finally finished that stinkin' balloon toss article, or something of the sort. I could have gone all at it a long time ago and come up with something much better, but what I came up with was, hopefully, sufficient. We'll find out tomorrow. Then, I did a little photo dealy for the web, with the flash component and audio, although it kinda sounds like someone's cussing, but I guess it doesn't really matter. Here, look and see if they sound like they're cussing too...
Then, I got more picx up on stillsight, and put some audio in the NYC and b&w galleries. Neato.
Now, math.
Current music: I think it's the One AM Radio thing from 3hive. When I imported it it only called it "Track 03" like I love it to...
So, a lot of good things have happened today... first off, I slept in a little and still managed to make it to math on time... but they didn't take the recycling, I guess because I put it on the wrong side of the street, but I've done that before, and they've taken it. Maybe it was too stuffed. Maybe they just didn' see it. Oh well...
Then at math, found out that Erin Mac and I got 60 out of 50 on our project and I've got 139 points out of 100, so I'd be surprised if I got anything but an A. Granted it is really hard to stay in those hard ass chairs all morning, but at least he's amusing. The t-shirt today said "5 out of 4 people have a problem with fractions."
Then, got some food from TJ's with Erin's hook up, then came home to my new fancy schmancy wireless ipod remote, which is water resistant, works 150ft away and through walls! Stoked. And, it doesn't look like it needs replacement batteries at all.. w00t!
Then, I got to the nitty gritty and finally finished that stinkin' balloon toss article, or something of the sort. I could have gone all at it a long time ago and come up with something much better, but what I came up with was, hopefully, sufficient. We'll find out tomorrow. Then, I did a little photo dealy for the web, with the flash component and audio, although it kinda sounds like someone's cussing, but I guess it doesn't really matter. Here, look and see if they sound like they're cussing too...
Then, I got more picx up on stillsight, and put some audio in the NYC and b&w galleries. Neato.
Now, math.
26 June 2005
Where are you?
I've been missing the one person who made this move to CA so easy, and still so difficult...
The monstrosity of a soul, the kindest and softest and bestest friend I had at the time has all but disappeared from my life, and lately I've been thinking about him so much- the angst I feel knowing that he's in some kind of wierd situation that only confuses me more...
Ivey- WHERE ARE YOU??
I used to get rare phone calls from him, in hushed voices, hiding behind some stack of pallets at a warehouse, using the phone that he knew she couldn't trace his calls from... Not much would be said, but Yes, I'm alive. Yes, I'm still here, barely hanging on. It would last all of two minutes and "shit gotta go", click...
I hope he's not lying dead in some gutter with bruised eyes from her lashings and a bruised heart from her abuse. If he'd only move out here, dammit get away from the Land of Entrapment and start new, in the golden gate, knowing nobody but me, and all those other NM fools who now live in the 415.
If there were any way I could convince him to move out here, damn that would be nice. My best friend would be around me, someone who supported me wholeheartedly, and he'd be loved in a way he'd find shocking because I'm not his family and I'm not his devil. I can only dream, and hope that at some point he'll be by my side again, and I can take care of him like he deserves to be befriended.
Dammit Ivey. Get a grip, and losen hers on you.
The monstrosity of a soul, the kindest and softest and bestest friend I had at the time has all but disappeared from my life, and lately I've been thinking about him so much- the angst I feel knowing that he's in some kind of wierd situation that only confuses me more...
Ivey- WHERE ARE YOU??
I used to get rare phone calls from him, in hushed voices, hiding behind some stack of pallets at a warehouse, using the phone that he knew she couldn't trace his calls from... Not much would be said, but Yes, I'm alive. Yes, I'm still here, barely hanging on. It would last all of two minutes and "shit gotta go", click...
I hope he's not lying dead in some gutter with bruised eyes from her lashings and a bruised heart from her abuse. If he'd only move out here, dammit get away from the Land of Entrapment and start new, in the golden gate, knowing nobody but me, and all those other NM fools who now live in the 415.
If there were any way I could convince him to move out here, damn that would be nice. My best friend would be around me, someone who supported me wholeheartedly, and he'd be loved in a way he'd find shocking because I'm not his family and I'm not his devil. I can only dream, and hope that at some point he'll be by my side again, and I can take care of him like he deserves to be befriended.
Dammit Ivey. Get a grip, and losen hers on you.
24 June 2005
friday
Yo.
Firefox has been crashing on me... seems to happen when I've got 3 or so tabs open, and one has a flash thing on it- but if I stop the page from loading or see the beachball, then I know it's about to quit... lame.
But this guy is my new hero, of course. !!!
So what's been going on today- well I wrote Laurence back and told him desolee for lying about being available for the Waifs show, it turns out that's when I've got that class intensive in San Fran that weekend, so won't be making it back to do lights in SC before going out at noon the next day in the city. Don't think so.
I also got on the ball about the union payroll, the last check never being sent to me- and spoke with a few people about it, so I shoud be getting paid for that one by Friday, even though it was over a month ago that I did the gig... I think that was the last one, for the 611, cuz I told them NO today for a late night load-out of the Blues fest in Monterey on Sunday night. I'd much rather chill and be a lazy bastard than not get to bed until 3 am and have to be at school the next morning. It's tough enough staying awake in there, less with no sleep. Eh, whatever- besides that excuse I just didn't want to work the load out. Ugh.
SO yeah. Lame myspace profile is up. Freaks are on there, that's for damn sure.
Wow, blogger's killing me!
Eek.
Firefox has been crashing on me... seems to happen when I've got 3 or so tabs open, and one has a flash thing on it- but if I stop the page from loading or see the beachball, then I know it's about to quit... lame.
But this guy is my new hero, of course. !!!
So what's been going on today- well I wrote Laurence back and told him desolee for lying about being available for the Waifs show, it turns out that's when I've got that class intensive in San Fran that weekend, so won't be making it back to do lights in SC before going out at noon the next day in the city. Don't think so.
I also got on the ball about the union payroll, the last check never being sent to me- and spoke with a few people about it, so I shoud be getting paid for that one by Friday, even though it was over a month ago that I did the gig... I think that was the last one, for the 611, cuz I told them NO today for a late night load-out of the Blues fest in Monterey on Sunday night. I'd much rather chill and be a lazy bastard than not get to bed until 3 am and have to be at school the next morning. It's tough enough staying awake in there, less with no sleep. Eh, whatever- besides that excuse I just didn't want to work the load out. Ugh.
SO yeah. Lame myspace profile is up. Freaks are on there, that's for damn sure.
Wow, blogger's killing me!
Eek.
23 June 2005
thursday
i hate this blogging thing.
it's ruined my life.
so- off to the Rio tonite. Robert Earl Keen. Hm... Yee haw.
Hope the lights I can make fantastimo...
I wanna go dancing.
it's ruined my life.
so- off to the Rio tonite. Robert Earl Keen. Hm... Yee haw.
Hope the lights I can make fantastimo...
I wanna go dancing.
22 June 2005
wednesday
Hi. Got my grades in for last semester. 4.0 gpa! Wee hee hoo! ;)
...So, that puts me in a good mood! I'm about to go down to the farmer's market and get some fruit...
...So, that puts me in a good mood! I'm about to go down to the farmer's market and get some fruit...
20 June 2005
monday
Whoooof. I'm beat Don't really know why, other than just ... am. It was a long weekend, a good one, too- the Russian River Blues Festival was... fun, but I guess I could have enjoyed myself a little better if I'd had a friend or two with me or a gallon of narcotics- just kidding... no, it was another music festival, with lots of people and mullets to make fun of, lots of expensive and cheaply made schwag, lots of loud bands and harsh mixes, but hanging out at the monitor booth backstage was the best spot... I liked Earl Thomas the best- he made the festival great for me- it was awesome the little stage instead of the big one, the intimacy, the drunken yuppies on wine, his flare, his voice... nice.
Now, it's math math math and packing packing packing for the next month, then things shift majorly. Should be sweet. The math teach seems like an amusing guy enough, the way he explains things is a bit too fast but at least he's realistic and to the point about how algebra won't help you unless you need it to- otherwise if I don't fall asleep in there every morning it shouldn't be too awful...
I just want to play!
Now, it's math math math and packing packing packing for the next month, then things shift majorly. Should be sweet. The math teach seems like an amusing guy enough, the way he explains things is a bit too fast but at least he's realistic and to the point about how algebra won't help you unless you need it to- otherwise if I don't fall asleep in there every morning it shouldn't be too awful...
I just want to play!
15 June 2005
Lhasa & La Llorona
I just got home from doing lights at the Rio, it felt like it'd been years since I'd been there! They put in a different board, this one from Ed of Craft- but for a Leprachon it was rather decent to use, but I'd prefer the submasters to be on the bottom of the board, makes for easier use- but of course manually is the old fashioned way and programming scenes would be more up to date... anyway, it was a great show, one of the better, lighting wise- and because it was only half full and really incredible vocals and musicianship I felt like I was witnessing something ... for lack of a better word... special. It was cool... tous en francais, c'etait tres interessante ecouter la langue au travail, et ca donne-moi une situation a pratiquer d'avoir peur... je suis tres peur... pourquoi- ca gaze...
SO- if you ever get a chance to check her out, do it... : LHASA
...And she also has an album called "La Llorona" which is ironic. For some reason La Llorona's been coming up in my life lately... the old folklore of a ghost carrying off children from the arroyo at night...
this is a rather good site explaining the different sides behind her story... in a more ... modern sense. Well worth checking out. Actually it's well worth making a link on the sidebar here as well...
Fascinating.
SO- if you ever get a chance to check her out, do it... : LHASA
...And she also has an album called "La Llorona" which is ironic. For some reason La Llorona's been coming up in my life lately... the old folklore of a ghost carrying off children from the arroyo at night...
this is a rather good site explaining the different sides behind her story... in a more ... modern sense. Well worth checking out. Actually it's well worth making a link on the sidebar here as well...
Fascinating.
14 June 2005
missing nm
you know i'm really a raver at heart, right? this photo- taken by celeste- even though i don't recall meeting her, i'm sure i have at one point ... 
she most likely was once friends with kieran and i know we had similar people in common knowledge... anyway- her photos of junebug and listening to this mix on proton radio is really making me miss my old days of being a dust bunny and desert bass freak- if only CA had things like this going on, I'd be really at home...
well... time to go learn to ride a bike. again.
she most likely was once friends with kieran and i know we had similar people in common knowledge... anyway- her photos of junebug and listening to this mix on proton radio is really making me miss my old days of being a dust bunny and desert bass freak- if only CA had things like this going on, I'd be really at home...well... time to go learn to ride a bike. again.
10 June 2005
Bork!
Jeff you LIE!
check it: the Swedish Chef's song goes like this:
"Yorn desh born, der ritt de gitt der gue, Orn desh, dee born desh, de umn bork! bork! bork!"
or something near close to it...
check it: the Swedish Chef's song goes like this:
"Yorn desh born, der ritt de gitt der gue, Orn desh, dee born desh, de umn bork! bork! bork!"
or something near close to it...
manu chao
Friday. 10th June. I'm glad I found the Manu Chao cd, it's great- for some box packing and clothes purging music, it seems to work. So last night M and I rode our bikes down to the yacht harbor and had a beer at the Crow's Nest beach party looking for her friends- and wandered around, ate some nachos and had some Boont and they finally showed up, the noise volume increasing incrementally as the evening bore on, and we ended up barely paying anything for the drinks, they just kept coming...
I thought I'd get used to being in a loud bar environment, don't think I ever will. There's nothing much I enjoy about it, except for the fact that being with M and how she knows every partier and his mom because of Cloud's gets us tons of attention, it's nice... although shouting over everything and trying to not feel like a boy next to all the girly girly girls who spend hours high pitched whining and makeup preparation to go somewhere like this... it's one of the nicer places and we gave props to the trumpet player for lickin' her chops up there with a bunch of boys.
Summer's moving along- only a week until math class- I don' t think I'll bother with a parking permit, maybe as time goes on I'll see just how busy parkin on the street will be and then I'll pop for it if I really care. that'd be cool if jules took chem, we could have cawfee on our breaks together.
And moving is coming closer too. I talked again with johan and think even more that I lucked out - whatever my dad has to say about it, I understand but can't blame him for being dad, but then again, if it feels right and seems right and is worth a try, why the heck not. And NO I'm not going to get a GUN. Me, firing a gun? Sure, that'd be fun, but me having one? Owning one? Keeping one under my pillow, in a bedside drawer? Yeah right.
What was it my mom said? Get a tiny one and fire it to light my cigarette? Hah.
Things to do: purge stuff. Have a garage sale, this weekend, maybe? Another in July. Send off transcript requests- walk in to a counseling appt. at City, figure out life.
Today- dunno. More photo gallery perfection?
I thought I'd get used to being in a loud bar environment, don't think I ever will. There's nothing much I enjoy about it, except for the fact that being with M and how she knows every partier and his mom because of Cloud's gets us tons of attention, it's nice... although shouting over everything and trying to not feel like a boy next to all the girly girly girls who spend hours high pitched whining and makeup preparation to go somewhere like this... it's one of the nicer places and we gave props to the trumpet player for lickin' her chops up there with a bunch of boys.
Summer's moving along- only a week until math class- I don' t think I'll bother with a parking permit, maybe as time goes on I'll see just how busy parkin on the street will be and then I'll pop for it if I really care. that'd be cool if jules took chem, we could have cawfee on our breaks together.
And moving is coming closer too. I talked again with johan and think even more that I lucked out - whatever my dad has to say about it, I understand but can't blame him for being dad, but then again, if it feels right and seems right and is worth a try, why the heck not. And NO I'm not going to get a GUN. Me, firing a gun? Sure, that'd be fun, but me having one? Owning one? Keeping one under my pillow, in a bedside drawer? Yeah right.
What was it my mom said? Get a tiny one and fire it to light my cigarette? Hah.
Things to do: purge stuff. Have a garage sale, this weekend, maybe? Another in July. Send off transcript requests- walk in to a counseling appt. at City, figure out life.
Today- dunno. More photo gallery perfection?
03 June 2005
fryday
it's OVER!!!!!!!
not. A's in everything. i think. nice.
cold. knees are purple. ... must... go ... out... side....
gym? beach? walk? skate?
can't wait for BIKE. ...soon soon soon...
cutting thru the loan clutter.
stillsight.com up. score.
not. A's in everything. i think. nice.
cold. knees are purple. ... must... go ... out... side....
gym? beach? walk? skate?
can't wait for BIKE. ...soon soon soon...
cutting thru the loan clutter.
stillsight.com up. score.
26 May 2005
hah oh what a day
w000000t. I just found out I got a 90 on the midterm, which means I DON'T HAVE TO TAKE THE FINAL which is kind of odd up to me... as if just showing up to class and doing ok on the midterm means I really learned everything? Whatever. No complaints.
I just sent out another response to craigslist. This one sounded sweet. Closer to school than the other ones, but further from the center of action...
Man oh man.
The balloon contest was hillarious this moring. About half hour after the chaos ensued a bunch of kids from an elementary school came and this Tony guy had them riled up to pick up the balloon crap, it was awesome. Nobody got smacked with one... that would have been funny... Anway I think I got some good interviews, if only my freakin' battery hadn' t gone dead as soon as the kids started coming to see the design. Damn, another drawback of digital.
Word.
I just sent out another response to craigslist. This one sounded sweet. Closer to school than the other ones, but further from the center of action...
Man oh man.
The balloon contest was hillarious this moring. About half hour after the chaos ensued a bunch of kids from an elementary school came and this Tony guy had them riled up to pick up the balloon crap, it was awesome. Nobody got smacked with one... that would have been funny... Anway I think I got some good interviews, if only my freakin' battery hadn' t gone dead as soon as the kids started coming to see the design. Damn, another drawback of digital.
Word.
23 May 2005
La life.
Ok, here's what's going on in my life right now. First off, it's Monday. Yesterday I worked 10 hours and neglected to do any studying for finals, or continue researching for the major 6 page paper that is due on Thursday. Only a week of real classes left and then it's off the books until June 20th. I'm excited for that, and as long as I can get the ball rolling on this paper today, I should be good. Theoretically on Thursday morning I've got to go cover this water balloon tossing contest with the Engineering courses, so today I should do some preliminary contacting of the professor and all, and (it just dawned on me) I should cover it not only as a reporter for an online exclusive, but as the true photojournalist I am, and multitask by using it for my final story-telling project for Journ20b! La, you're brilliant. G'job.
So- as long as I can really begin the whole paper today, I should be set with everything. Got to watch the dream team for Comm. class, and read the chapters, study for the PS1 final which shouldn't be too bad, and
live like the true La I am...
So- as long as I can really begin the whole paper today, I should be set with everything. Got to watch the dream team for Comm. class, and read the chapters, study for the PS1 final which shouldn't be too bad, and
live like the true La I am...
20 May 2005
w00t for new firmware
I just updated the firmware version on my D70 and now the menu looks so cool! I'm looking forward to playing with it, big time... if only I had an idea of what to shoot for my final project picture story package... hm... There's always work at Cabrillo, on Sunday I might as well wander around doing lights and focusing, with my camera around my neck, might make for some neat ones... Or maybe something cool will pop up out of the blue? I'm sure it will be fine, I've just got to be sure and reciprocate and take Kerry out to dinner or something because of his generosity with printing all of my assignments this semester... killer!
What a nice day. I should go for a bike ride. Word.
What a nice day. I should go for a bike ride. Word.
19 May 2005
18.05.05
Today I find myself once again in a funk, a stale mate and calm lull- a solitude, where my mind feels swamped with outside noises and my frame of vision is scattered, as my eyes jump from one bright thing to another- watching the way people interact with one another, listening to the obnoxious loud voices of people instructing each other, but it all seems so... natural. Helping one another sometimes seems like a selfless act, but when I observe the way someone walks through the aisles and glances over each person's shoulders with that air of egotistical interest, it seems so overtly natural as well. What can we do but be distracted and attracted to others? There's almost no easy way to fall into a calm silence and only pay attention to the task at hand, and there I am envious of those who can stay focused - I ought to schedule myself for yoga and meditation, thought processes, and more writing from my heart.
Things are foreboding on me, shoulders are weighed down by my thoughts and choices that are just around the corner, but the one way I can deal is to relax and go with the flow...
Sigh. So melancholy.
Things are foreboding on me, shoulders are weighed down by my thoughts and choices that are just around the corner, but the one way I can deal is to relax and go with the flow...
Sigh. So melancholy.
17 May 2005
train wreck
OH god. That was so amazingly embarassing. We just presented our group project on the restrictions on our civil rights after 9/11 and it started off rocky... first off, the DVD player was not in the room, and the tech-lady was MIA, so I asked one of the kids in the class with his 17" laptop if he had a DVD player on his 'pooter, and we got that going, would have been nice to have an S-Video cable but that was no go, but once it got rolling I felt as though I did an ok introduction, and the video, of course teacher lady was impressed. I couldn't tell how the kids in the class felt, the rest of the presentation just went downhill from there. Megan's schpeil was good, she's a fine public speaker. Fat man Robyn, every time I look at him now I just get so disgusted- he didn't seem prepared what-so-ever, even though I did all that work for his dumb ass, he still pulled all kinds of shit out of his ass and talked extraordinarily rocky, like a fucking mule. And then Feliza lady, she just read the section of the patriot act and that's it- left it hanging, ugh. Embarassing. Then Alisha, whisper kid, read in her sweet little non-existant voice for 8 minutes of stuff that didn't seem coherent but a section of her final paper... the conclusion rocked, though- left everyone thinking, and successfully put the whole thing to a finish well, and I'm sure we'll get a fine grade, if she gives everyone in the group different grades, that is, there's no way that I'd stand for a lower grade because of the bullshit that fatass pulled and the other lady. ugh.
I'm so glad it's over. And something in me does want to go to the city tonight, to see Citizen Cope, but I've got to get that stupid article done and really get the ball rolling on the final paper for PS, and driving for 4 hours doesn't seem like all that fun. But, sigh, maybe I can swing it. And do I go to class, or no?
How bout it.
*
I'm so glad it's over. And something in me does want to go to the city tonight, to see Citizen Cope, but I've got to get that stupid article done and really get the ball rolling on the final paper for PS, and driving for 4 hours doesn't seem like all that fun. But, sigh, maybe I can swing it. And do I go to class, or no?
How bout it.
*
14 May 2005
argh.
I gotta get out of here.
Ok, going... going...
*gone*
Right, just joking. No, really. Seriously, that was earlier.
This is now. So it's 11:44 pm. My face is oily. Going to go wash it now. I just vaccuumed, hope the landlords don't mind... Ha ha. No, really. Washing face now. Here I go... Ok, I'm back. And. Can anyone tell I'm delerious!?
Just finished up watching "Ladder 49" with Steven, and I think it really is one of the most Hollywoodized cheeze balls of attempts to recruit people into the reality of being a fireman. And it makes it really attractive, but Backdraft was a helluva lot better. Better plot, better acting, although Joaquin Phoenix is mm mm good, (seems to be putting on a tad bit more weight than earlier films) and John Travolta as always danced at least once in the movie, keeping to tradition, of course. But I found it rough going back and forth from this dying bit and all the flashbacks to his life. I wanted to know the stories of all the other firemen as well, not just bits of our Jack. Anyway. Now I'm contemplating whether I should stay up and watch the Incredibles or go to bed, waiting for dreams to take me away, or combine the two, and daze out in front of the blazing tube.
Oh! Gotta put the enchiladas away first. These ones came out much better than the other batch, I find that following my natural style of a smorgasbord and goulash of everything in the mix goes well when the flavors compliment each other. And the cornbread is a success as always. It's nice to cook when I've got reasons to... And I know well that anything is better than homework.
Right.
*
Ok, going... going...
*gone*
Right, just joking. No, really. Seriously, that was earlier.
This is now. So it's 11:44 pm. My face is oily. Going to go wash it now. I just vaccuumed, hope the landlords don't mind... Ha ha. No, really. Washing face now. Here I go... Ok, I'm back. And. Can anyone tell I'm delerious!?
Just finished up watching "Ladder 49" with Steven, and I think it really is one of the most Hollywoodized cheeze balls of attempts to recruit people into the reality of being a fireman. And it makes it really attractive, but Backdraft was a helluva lot better. Better plot, better acting, although Joaquin Phoenix is mm mm good, (seems to be putting on a tad bit more weight than earlier films) and John Travolta as always danced at least once in the movie, keeping to tradition, of course. But I found it rough going back and forth from this dying bit and all the flashbacks to his life. I wanted to know the stories of all the other firemen as well, not just bits of our Jack. Anyway. Now I'm contemplating whether I should stay up and watch the Incredibles or go to bed, waiting for dreams to take me away, or combine the two, and daze out in front of the blazing tube.
Oh! Gotta put the enchiladas away first. These ones came out much better than the other batch, I find that following my natural style of a smorgasbord and goulash of everything in the mix goes well when the flavors compliment each other. And the cornbread is a success as always. It's nice to cook when I've got reasons to... And I know well that anything is better than homework.
Right.
*
12 May 2005
baseball pictures
Oh this is just plain funny...
Gotta love the promotion, they're not even the best of all photos!
Cabrillo Baseball photos...
Yay.
Gotta love the promotion, they're not even the best of all photos!
Cabrillo Baseball photos...
Yay.
11 May 2005
whatever
Argh.
Life is ridiculous.
Emotions are ridiculous.
Dialectics are ridiculous.
Competitions are STUPID.
American culture is ridiculous.
People are ridculous. Extremely ridiculous.
What makes me say all this?
Life.
Responsibility. Education. Finances. Communication. Interaction.
Categorizing, voting, competing, power-forcing.
Mediating,
photographing. Deciding, learning, loving, hating and living.
Damn.
Life is ridiculous.
Emotions are ridiculous.
Dialectics are ridiculous.
Competitions are STUPID.
American culture is ridiculous.
People are ridculous. Extremely ridiculous.
What makes me say all this?
Life.
Responsibility. Education. Finances. Communication. Interaction.
Categorizing, voting, competing, power-forcing.
Mediating,
photographing. Deciding, learning, loving, hating and living.
Damn.
09 May 2005
08 May 2005
07 May 2005
why i oughta
Work... I've made it to the point of no return. Rather- to the point of imminent decision, where a "return" is incredibly important. There are decisions which must be made. And the decision I made to keep saying NO to lighting design jobs must be met and held on to- every time a ladder falls on my head and the stress escalates to the point which I am hating being in the place I once loved, and rejecting the responsibility of artistic license, I know it's gone too far and a major life-changing turn is due... I've know also for a while that I'm plain sick of designing lights because it's just not worth the stress for me anymore. And stage management, I'm also over dealing with dramatic fools- and since they're in every aspect of life anyway, why get paid to take all their problems onto my shoulders? I don't want to - and I can continue to say yes and be forced to gripe and complain within, or I can continue on another path and just move on move on. I'd rather stick to something that is less overtly depressing and just play the field, not settle for things that I know I can do, but have no passion for. No more ladders on my neck and no more pride- time to move on, move on.
And if moving on entails starting from scratch on something completely new, then by all means, I'll embrace the change and excitement full on, with open arms and ecstatic eyes wide and looking out to the foggy hills of the city- SF here I come!!!!!
Sorry, wish it were New York, but not right now... gotta be able to get in- state tuition, especially when I risk losing $20,000 to the IRS, unless Grampa Allocca can make the crises all go away.
And if moving on entails starting from scratch on something completely new, then by all means, I'll embrace the change and excitement full on, with open arms and ecstatic eyes wide and looking out to the foggy hills of the city- SF here I come!!!!!
Sorry, wish it were New York, but not right now... gotta be able to get in- state tuition, especially when I risk losing $20,000 to the IRS, unless Grampa Allocca can make the crises all go away.
05 May 2005
thursday rant.
(The rant following includes bitching about self, relationships, communication, cramps, and 3,000 miles of continent- another blog full of potentially damaging content)
Chris was right, I'm not acting like myself today. And that's the thing- how could I possibly act like anyone but myself. I am myself, on good days and on bad days. So I seem powerless, or less powerful than normal, he says. And shit, his observation was one hundred percent accurate. Emotional, pissed off, out of my mind. I don't want to hang out with someone who turns me into what is even more like myself, a bitch. A raving pants-wearing controlling bitch. But seriously, should I have to ASK someone to clean up his dirty snot rags off my bedroom floor, to throw away his own beer bottles before leaving, to help me keep my peace, to respect my bedroom and put down the toilet seat, and by the time you're in your 30's and you haven't learned to respect a house full of women, then there's seriously something fucked up going on here. Is it worth it? Do I have to teach, train, show someone what it means to me to be respectful? Responsible, and considerate? I want to be around someone who is inherently respectful and knows how to clean up after himself. That's just low. Fucking low... I know what it's like to enjoy the company of respectful and mature human beings. There is no comparison. It's a waste of time.
Then again, not everything revolves around me either, but finding a process of effective communication and attaining the goals of all involved... all parties can be happy- no compromising, no yeilding and no manipulating. The principle of least interest is in effect here - I have the least interest in the relationship, therefore I have more power. I have nothing vested in it. It's pure distraction. The need for human contact. The need for drama. Is it worth it. I've got more emotions vested in the other relationship that is virtually impossible and inattainable at this moment in time... have more fun chatting and satisfying my guilty pleasures over the cyber-waves than dealing with the repercussions of a once-in-a-while slob whose flaws outweigh any qualities a hundred to one. There are better results from fantasies and dreams and ideas for the futre than from immediate reality. Dammit.
Back to my brother's old mantra- "make friends with your lonliness, it's all you've got."
Today- lights for a gypsy concert at the Rio, home shower, food... Think of nothing. Mind free and open, breathing deep and letting the feminine hormones flow through uterus and breasts, let the blood flow and veins pulsate with nature. No forcing anything that can't be natural by itself, emotions included. First things first. Focus on the here and now, not the what could be or what shouldn't be.
Hazzah.
Chris was right, I'm not acting like myself today. And that's the thing- how could I possibly act like anyone but myself. I am myself, on good days and on bad days. So I seem powerless, or less powerful than normal, he says. And shit, his observation was one hundred percent accurate. Emotional, pissed off, out of my mind. I don't want to hang out with someone who turns me into what is even more like myself, a bitch. A raving pants-wearing controlling bitch. But seriously, should I have to ASK someone to clean up his dirty snot rags off my bedroom floor, to throw away his own beer bottles before leaving, to help me keep my peace, to respect my bedroom and put down the toilet seat, and by the time you're in your 30's and you haven't learned to respect a house full of women, then there's seriously something fucked up going on here. Is it worth it? Do I have to teach, train, show someone what it means to me to be respectful? Responsible, and considerate? I want to be around someone who is inherently respectful and knows how to clean up after himself. That's just low. Fucking low... I know what it's like to enjoy the company of respectful and mature human beings. There is no comparison. It's a waste of time.
Then again, not everything revolves around me either, but finding a process of effective communication and attaining the goals of all involved... all parties can be happy- no compromising, no yeilding and no manipulating. The principle of least interest is in effect here - I have the least interest in the relationship, therefore I have more power. I have nothing vested in it. It's pure distraction. The need for human contact. The need for drama. Is it worth it. I've got more emotions vested in the other relationship that is virtually impossible and inattainable at this moment in time... have more fun chatting and satisfying my guilty pleasures over the cyber-waves than dealing with the repercussions of a once-in-a-while slob whose flaws outweigh any qualities a hundred to one. There are better results from fantasies and dreams and ideas for the futre than from immediate reality. Dammit.
Back to my brother's old mantra- "make friends with your lonliness, it's all you've got."
Today- lights for a gypsy concert at the Rio, home shower, food... Think of nothing. Mind free and open, breathing deep and letting the feminine hormones flow through uterus and breasts, let the blood flow and veins pulsate with nature. No forcing anything that can't be natural by itself, emotions included. First things first. Focus on the here and now, not the what could be or what shouldn't be.
Hazzah.
02 May 2005
finished.
I can't imagine I threw this together in a few hours. Geez, and I also can't believe it took me that long to finish. iMovie's a bitch. At least it's done. There are things I would have changed but ... *shrug* I'm sure I'll get a good grade, who cares if the timing's a wee bit off in places. Works for me. I didn't want to come off as partisan or biased either way... it seems kind of pro Butch because he's the undertone of the whole thing, but I don't care that much to go back and start over. Plus there are tiny kinks but then again, I don't care that much. Plus, I don't care what other people think of it, it's only for visuals for the grade, and I doubt that anyone in my group has a view either way. I'll show it to them and ask them what they think, but otherwise I leave it be and work on more pressing things. It's out of the way. Schweet.
w00t
Notice how much I say "I don't care"...
That's got to mean something psychologically.
w00t
Notice how much I say "I don't care"...
That's got to mean something psychologically.
30 April 2005
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